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Happy Birthday List

  • Protected: Happy Birthday Nick! Who’s your favourite sister?
  • December 31 – Anthony Hopkins gets an interview about the last year
  • December 30 – Lebron James gets the wrong end of a firing squad
  • December 29 – Ted Danson gets a simile Ted
  • December 28 – Seth Meyers gets a vanishing preposition
  • December 27 – Salman Khan gets culturally and linguistically twote
  • December 26 – Jared Leto gets an insomniac’s reasoning
  • December 25 – Justin Trudeau gets a Newfoundland expatriate
  • December 24 – Ricky Martin gets an old friend’s storied proposals
  • December 23 – Noël Wells gets a gets a breath wish and a deodo-rant
  • December 22 – Anthony Jeselnik gets exploratory comedy
  • December 21 – Samuel L. Jackson gets a post-surgery hospital stay
  • December 20 – Jonah Hill gets a man alone
  • December 19 – Brandon Sanderson gets writing reflections
  • December 18 – Keith Richards gets altered trips
  • December 17 – Eugene Levy gets a mundane run-in with Catherine O’Hara
  • December 16 – J. B. Smoove gets Juan Liner’s reflections
  • December 15 – Adam Brody gets sketchy shorts
  • December 14 – Vanessa Hudgens gets technological evolution and immobile humanity
  • December 13 – Jamie Foxx gets a commencement exercise
  • December 12 – Mayim Bialik gets a marquetter’s fortpolio
  • December 11 – Rita Moreno gets an antique appraisal
  • December 10 – Emmanuelle Chriqui gets an innocent bystander
  • December 9 – Felicity Huffman gets a convenient score
  • December 8 – Nicki Minaj gets a pre-cancerous consideration
  • December 7 – Dan Bilzerian gets a gamboling gambler
  • December 6 – Judd Apatow gets a slow show
  • December 5 – Ronnie O’Sullivan gets the games of life
  • December 4 – Jeff Bridges gets ambitious videos to be made in my honour
  • December 3 – Ozzy Osbourne gets cool Jeopardy stories
  • December 2 – Britney Spears gets a mallrat rat rat rat
  • December 1 – Sarah Silverman gets book titles and band names
  • November 30 – Ben Stiller gets the next great Pizzaloni barber
  • November 29 – Don Cheadle gets a banana, an elastic band and an alarm clock
  • November 28 – Alfonso Cuarón gets a driveway-sealing, record-selling Witness
  • November 27 – Bill Nye gets patents pending
  • November 26 – DJ Khaled gets bearded
  • November 25 – Christina Applegate gets a page-turning Paige Turner
  • November 24 – Stephen Merchant gets fast food funny farms
  • November 23 – Miley Cyrus gets the four kinds of drunks
  • November 22 – Mark Ruffalo gets a business traveller’s hotel room
  • November 21 – Björk gets an interactive stroll through the neighbourhood
  • November 20 – Joe Biden gets a mid-life crisis
  • November 19 – Larry King gets a self-composed obituary
  • November 18 – Kirk Hammett gets a startist’s ideation
  • November 17 – RuPaul gets Mary Browned
  • November 16 – Maggie Gyllenhaal gets a doctor’s office waiting room
  • November 15 – Shailene Woodley gets five shoppers shopping
  • November 14 – Condoleezza Rice gets a human rice tribunal
  • November 13 – Whoopi Goldberg gets another EGOT
  • November 12 – Megan Mullally gets my doula Oblangata
  • November 11 – Leonardo DiCaprio gets a jungle intruder
  • November 10 – Michael Jai White gets more animal facts than he can handle
  • November 9 – Lou Ferrigno gets passed the pasta past its shape
  • November 8 – Gordon Ramsay gets a few winnipeg cheesecakes
  • November 7 – Chris Mortensen gets a tumour’s origin story
  • November 6 – Thandie Newton gets a handy guide
  • November 5 – Bryan Adams gets Vancouverified
  • November 4 – Matthew McConaughey gets screwed into stripping
  • November 3 – Colin Kaepernick gets an avoidable continuance
  • November 2 – Nelly gets music videos in the making
  • November 1 – Larry Flynt gets a figment at the complaint department
  • October 31 – Jon Wurster gets a George Street mystery
  • October 30 – Henry Winkler gets a letter to the creditor
  • October 29 – Richard Dreyfuss gets an imperfect bet
  • October 28 – Caitlyn Jenner gets reminded
  • October 27 – John Cleese gets a new generation of shows
  • October 26 – Hillary Clinton gets opposing approaches leading to the same destination
  • October 25 – Samantha Bee gets the fall of a mustache
  • October 24 – Drake gets a fad, late to the party and unappreciated
  • October 23 – Weird Al Yankovic gets what else is in a name
  • October 22 – Bob Odenkirk gets an office coup initiated by a spurious obsession with Julia Stiles
  • October 21 – Benjamin Netanyahu gets a shared laundry puzzle
  • October 20 – Snoop Dogg gets a struggle with a toaster
  • October 19 – John Lithgow gets a grocery store transaction
  • October 18 – Jean-Claude Van Damme gets a boy trapped in a refrigerator who eats his own foot
  • October 17 – Norm Macdonald gets an anxious turtle named Dylan
  • October 16 – Flea gets animal collective nouns
  • October 15 – Emeril Lagassé gets potential Brunch episodes
  • October 14 – Usher Raymond gets words to live by
  • October 13 – Sacha Baron Cohen gets advice from a man in a suit in a kiosk on a street
  • October 12 – Hugh Jackman gets a man in a suit in a kiosk on a street
  • October 11 – Artie Lange gets a process template guaranteed to result in a successful stand up set
  • October 10 – Dan Stevens gets an open letter to Infinite Jest
  • October 9 – Bella Hadid gets a country that turns out to just be a guy’s house
  • October 8 – Patrick Watson gets a birthday boyla
  • October 7 – Thom Yorke gets anamnesis
  • October 6 – Amy Jo Johnson gets a drowning in a swimming pool and sum consequential possibilities
  • October 5 – Neil deGrasse Tyson gets a snail’s demise and one of my own
  • October 4 – Liev Schreiber gets cautioned by a porscheman
  • October 3 – Gwen Stefani gets a holler back woman
  • October 2 – Sting gets a self-imposed music appreciation tax
  • October 1 – Brie Larson gets a delayed wedding gift for Avi’s parents
  • September 30 – Eric Stoltz gets a characters study
  • September 29 – Kevin Durant gets a skeptical critique of an uncredible critic
  • September 28 – Annie Clark gets overexposed
  • September 27 – Marc Maron gets a list of podcasts on my phone
  • September 26 – Serena Williams gets an old one, unwittingly titled in parallel with a friend’s song
  • September 25 – Mark Hamill gets the story submitted and subsequently rejected, prompting yesterday’s piece
  • September 24 – Nia Vardalos gets the first and last sections of a story curated for a judgy audience
  • September 23 – Ani DiFranco gets a repetitive issue impacting her hometown
  • September 22 – Joan Jett gets a collaborative sonnet by @iansmitty and an aigorithm
  • September 21 – Stephen King gets a false alarm at the wrong Jack Ennises’s
  • September 20 – George R. R. Martin gets an outstanding lemonade kingpin
  • September 19 – Jimmy Fallon gets a tale of two Smittys
  • September 18 – Billy Eichner gets a father’s son who’s watched it all
  • September 17 – Alex Ovechkin gets questionable certainties
  • September 16 – Jennifer Tilly gets alternative hat-tricks for an evolving sports world
  • September 15 – Ben Schwartz gets Exit Sign, part 3 of 3, of 5
  • September 14 – Sam Neill gets Exit Sign, part 2 of 3, of 5
  • September 13 – Colin Trevorrow gets Exit Sign, part 1 of 3, of 5
  • September 12 – Paul F. Tompkins gets commissioned for marriage
  • September 11 – Ted Leo gets notes from his show at the now-defunct Cobalt
  • September 10 – Ryan Phillippe gets a cobbling thief and an obituaried doll
  • September 9 – Adam Sandler gets Rhyming Palinilaps
  • September 8 – Neko Case gets a sponsored suitcase, owned and abandoned
  • September 7 – Evan Rachel Wood gets a lost officer’s prevention
  • September 6 – Lauren Lapkus gets a reasonable start to an Animals spec script
  • September 5 – Raquel Welch gets the distinctions between meals
  • September 4 – Whitney Cummings gets a spec South Park episode’s collaborative synopsis
  • September 3 – Maria Bamford gets the opening paragraph of Siddhartha translated into parts of speech
  • September 2 – Lennox Lewis gets into an agnosticky situation
  • September 1 – Lily Tomlin gets what’s in a name
  • August 31 – Chris Tucker gets noxious halluminations and biliary hallucinotions
  • August 30 – Lisa Ling gets a stand up meltdown
  • August 29 – Carla Gugino gets an array of tests leading to a diagnosis
  • August 28 – Shania Twain gets a product manager’s mid-morning break
  • August 27 – Sarah Chalke gets settled near the warmer ocean
  • August 26 – James Harden gets thoughts during a massage
  • August 25 – Blake Lively gets joblogged
  • August 24 – Marlee Matlin gets late night malfeasance
  • August 23 – Kobe Bryant gets a solo adventure and a cousin switcheroo
  • August 22 – Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje gets a dancing impersonation and an Iosian backtrack
  • August 21 – Usain Bolt gets knocked out and gleeked at
  • August 20 – Al Roker gets an uproarious prediction
  • August 19 – Fat Joe gets a college dropout’s arrest
  • August 18 – Kaitlin Olson gets soured on whiskey and hidden in the wild
  • August 17 – Thierry Henry gets driven around
  • August 16 – Madonna gets a mortal combattant
  • August 15 – Natasha Henstridge gets a failing socialization
  • August 14 – Halle Berry gets to meet the cool people
  • August 13 – DeMarcus Cousins gets set back in confidence
  • August 12 – Mario Balotelli gets soccer balled
  • August 11 – Viola Davis gets a superior speller’s rotting fruit
  • August 10 – Antonio Banderas gets a morbid curiousness
  • August 9 – Anna Kendrick gets a burgeoning creative’s missteps
  • August 8 – Meagan Good gets a circuitous denigration
  • August 7 – Charlize Theron gets a gelatinous ursine cosmic internal voyage
  • August 6 – M. Night Shyamalan gets a literary fall and its subsequent attention grab
  • August 5 – Patrick Ewing gets an impactful PSA and a salty snack
  • August 4 – Barack Obama gets a stick-holding, candy-trading, bed-wrestling Hallowe’en
  • August 3 – Martha Stewart gets a neighbourly skirmish
  • August 2 – Charli XCX gets a toddler’s secure playground
  • August 1 – Coolio gets a baby’s first memory
  • July 31 – J.K. Rowling gets the subsequent words my phone predicts I will want to say after wishing her a happy day
  • July 30 – Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a muggy inventory
  • July 29 – Ken Burns gets the final Darwin Award winner
  • July 28 – Lori Loughlin gets the negative side of laughter
  • July 27 – Nikolaj Coster-Waldau gets a closeted battleground
  • July 26 – Mick Jagger gets wishful entropy
  • July 25 – Matt LeBlanc gets da b’y who cr’yed
  • July 24 – Jennifer Lopez gets an apology from an old half pal
  • July 23 – Monica Lewinsky gets enlisted to stop the war on stop signs
  • July 22 – Shawn Michaels gets the freebooter’s attempt to live up to his name, along with a ridiculous coincidence
  • July 21 – Yusuf Cat Islam Stevens gets eulopologetical
  • July 20 – Judy Greer gets an allergy reaction
  • July 19 – Jim Norton gets a Colombian standoff
  • July 18 – Kristen Bell gets the days other things happened
  • July 17 – David Hasselhoff gets the days the music did stuff
  • July 16 – Barry Sanders gets a fictional second meeting with a local filmmaker
  • July 15 – Jesse Ventura gets a corpse collector’s prelude
  • July 14 – Jane Lynch gets stuck with a bumper’s cryptic message
  • July 13 – Ken Jeong gets alpha beat
  • July 12 – Malala Yousafzai finally understands how one can hate
  • July 11 – Richie Sambora gets the search engine optimized plumber
  • July 10 – Sofia Vergara gets a former young girl’s investigation of death
  • July 9 – Tom Hanks gets the colours of time
  • July 8 – Milo Ventimiglia gets an unending twenty miles to a destined nation
  • July 7 – Jim Gaffigan learns about natural oneders
  • July 6 – Dalai Lama gets a recovering eagle-maniac
  • July 5 – Nardwuar the Human Serviette gets one hundred years of solitaire
  • July 4 – Geraldo Rivera gets the Untitled School of America
  • July 3 – Tom Cruise gets a mid-year breakdown
  • July 2 – Scott Aukerman gets an inclusionary Canadian anthem
  • July 1 – Missy Elliott gets awoken from a slumberous month
  • June 30 – Mike Tyson fires Julie Klausner
  • June 29 – Gary Busey steals a plane to relax
  • June 28 – Elon Musk gets his attempt to open a Grecian brewery thwarted by parasitic pests
  • June 27 – Khloé Kardashian delivers some bad news
  • June 26 – Aubrey Plaza is the only one who caught on to an Olympian’s plan for military dominance
  • June 25 – Ricky Gervais misses out on the buyer’s take of a lottery win
  • June 24 – Mindy Kaling gives me a stern talking to
  • June 23 – Joss Whedon listens in to a prank gone bad
  • June 22 – Cyndi Lauper descends from a roof of her own accord
  • June 21 – Edward Snowden gets his invitation turned down to join him at a backyard bachelor party
  • June 20 – Mike Birbiglia finds the best storage facility for the sound equipment
  • June 19 – Zoe Saldana makes an astute financial decision
  • June 18 – Paul McCartney gets to be a cool camp counselor
  • June 17 – Kendrick Lamar gets proven right after commiserating over a fallen man about town
  • June 16 – John Cho gets funnier in real life
  • June 15 – Courteney Cox gets an incarcerated spin-off
  • June 14 – Donald Trump gets diversity in media
  • June 13 – Ally Sheedy gets blamed at the register
  • June 12 – Richard Ayoade doesn’t show up to our gig, all while Ivan Decker rejects the stage
  • June 11 – Joshua Jackson is funny and reserved at an illicit party
  • June 10 – Bill Burr gets offensive on the defensive end
  • June 9 – Mae Whitman does some petty thieving
  • June 8 – Kanye West gets a haircut all by himself, while Bobby Cannavale captures the youth
  • June 7 – Mick Foley gets home-hitting insight from an alter ego
  • June 6 – Colin Quinn gets defensive about his new certification
  • June 5 – Chuck Klosterman gets the joke of the day before noon
  • June 4 – T.J. Miller assumes the identity of the T.J. Killer
  • June 3 – John Hodgman gets to attend a taping of Maria Bamford’s new special
  • June 2 – Wayne Brady gets to help me save the day
  • June 1 – Amy Schumer gets to star in a dream
  • May 31 – Brooke Shields gets a congratulatory back pat
  • May 30 – Duncan Jones gets a Maiden Film
  • May 29 – Anders Holm gets a diploma’s name rightfully displayed
  • May 28 – Jake Johnson gets a berry pleasing plea
  • May 27 – Jamie Oliver gets plancakes!
  • May 26 – Phil Elverum finally gets his own schubladenbrief
  • May 25 – Ian McKellen gets a day in my life
  • May 24 – Tommy Chong gets a prescient kid pleased with the result
  • May 23 – H. Jon Benjamin gets a bullying lesson
  • May 22 – Naomi Campbell gets a donation solicitation
  • May 21 – Mr. T gets a plot summary of a movie never watched
  • May 20 – Louis Theroux gets a partially philanthropic experiment
  • May 19 – Peter Mayhew gets a toasty toast to a like-bodied friend
  • May 18 – Chantal Kreviazuk gets a noodlish tale of transformative proteins
  • May 17 – Bob Saget gets One Dead Nan
  • May 16 – Pierce Brosnan gets our brief encounter and the examination of fame that it incited
  • May 15 – Madeleine Albright gets a modernization of a classic rap song
  • May 14 – Amber Tamblyn gets some bedtime inspiration for her daughter’s world
  • May 13 – Lena Dunham gets a hopeful artist’s showcase
  • May 12 – Rami Malek gets a robotic understudy
  • May 11 – Kardinal Offishall gets a shifty historical solution
  • May 10 – Kenan Thompson gets an alternate elder care system
  • May 9 – Rosario Dawson gets a concerned friend’s plea to a parent
  • May 8 – Enrique Iglesias gets his origin story
  • May 7 – Traci Lords gets the 72 Nipponese microseasons
  • May 6 – Meek Mill gets a penitentiary pal
  • May 5 – Kurt Sutter gets a second chance at a bakery order
  • May 4 – Will Arnett gets an open letter to open letters
  • May 3 – Dulé Hill gets a rarely mentioned scene from a show he used to be on
  • May 2 – Dwayne Johnson gets a regular guy’s regular life
  • May 1 – Tim McGraw gets over-heards and their hypothetical over-responses
  • April 30 – Gal Gadot gets an indirect plea to invite me into her creed
  • April 29 – Jerry Seinfeld gets a cerealized hugger-mugger
  • April 28 – Jessica Alba gets a weekend worrier
  • April 27 – Ace Frehley gets a straightforward review of Rand Acce Memo
  • April 26 – Jemima Kirke gets a scientific discovery
  • April 25 – Hank Azaria gets a character study
  • April 24 – Barbra Streisand gets a rider’s guest list
  • April 23 – John Oliver gets a platitude adjustment
  • April 22 – Ryan Stiles gets a deeper game of Guess Who?
  • April 21 – Tony Danza gets objectionable mondegreens
  • April 20 – George Takei gets a conversation with a conservationist
  • April 19 – Ashley Judd gets a limerick gone awry
  • April 18 – Alia Shawkat gets a child born into fatherhood
  • April 17 – Adam McKay gets a car2ghost
  • April 16 – Chance the Rapper gets the true intentions of a lottery hopeful
  • April 15 – Seth Rogen gets an activity for his parents to do
  • April 14 – Win Butler gets reminded of a brief Haligonian encounter
  • April 13 – Glenn Howerton gets an infallible system for impressing the other party guests
  • April 12 – Ilana Glazer gets a budder-butter mix-up
  • April 11 – Joss Stone gets a list of names that need to be brought back into the fold
  • April 10 – David Harbour gets a strange review of a condensed season
  • April 9 – Jay Baruchel gets an assured victory in a true standoff
  • April 8 – Patricia Arquette gets a hankering for another transient rival
  • April 7 – Eric Wareheim gets a melting cheeseman
  • April 6 – Zach Braff gets to the source of my crowdsourcing
  • April 5 – Pharrell Williams gets happiness projected
  • April 4 – David Cross gets some ideas to pass on to hopeful comics so that they’ll leave him alone
  • April 3 – Adam Scott gets a debunked paradox of voting
  • April 2 – Chris Meloni gets a study of the Scandinavian Sprawl
  • April 1 – Asa Butterfield gets a prank that goes just far enough
  • March 31 – Kate Micucci gets parodical jams
  • March 30 – MC Hammer gets a break from having to constantly reinvent himself with sweet new dance moves
  • March 29 – Lucy Lawless gets a word named after her, and then a bunch of other ones
  • March 28 – Reba McEntire gets a foiled attempt at laziness
  • March 27 – Mariah Carey gets warned about the stalkers becoming stans
  • March 26 – Todd Barry gets a Hershey’s holiday hardship
  • March 25 – Doug Stanhope gets a mugger’s salvation
  • March 24 – Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers
  • March 23 – Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan
  • March 22 – William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man
  • March 21 – Rosie O’Donnell gets a schubladenbrief
  • March 20 – Spike Lee gets an encounter with a blind Venetian lady of the night
  • March 19 – Glenn Close gets my Olive Moment™
  • March 18 – Queen Latifah gets an unplanned revolutionary origin
  • March 17 – Rob Lowe gets my filmic concerns with slightly relevant #as#tags
  • March 16 – John Darnielle gets a dream that, when scrawled on paper, evolves into a film about a calamitous first day at work
  • March 15 – Bret Michaels gets a welcome mat switcheroo
  • March 14 – Jake Fogelnest gets a rundown of the first season of “Trials and Tributaries”
  • March 13 – William H. Macy features prominently in the first story I ever wrote
  • March 12 – Ron Funches finds out I am a card-carrying citizen of the cancer community
  • March 11 – Benji Madden gets to see that being a twin could have been a whole lot worse
  • March 10 – Olivia Wilde gets my favourite movie of in time
  • March 9 – Neil Strauss gets an inventory of my eccentricities
  • March 8 – James Van Der Beek gets an understanding of a post-Nibs diet life
  • March 7 – Bryan Cranston gets a Mortal Kombat announcer’s take on his job
  • March 6 – D. L. Hughley gets a pizza rating system for a city he doesn’t live in
  • March 5 – Penn Jillette gets a eulogy for the monkey switch
  • March 4 – Patricia Heaton gets a receipt of my recipe for my recipes
  • March 3 – Ira Glass gets some insight into how I see the part of me that writes
  • March 2 – Bryce Dallas Howard gets friendship incarnate
  • March 1 – Lupita Nyong’o gets a keyboard kaper the likes of which she’s never seen
  • February 28 – Gilbert Gottfried gets an unwillingness to calm a customer’s frustration
  • February 27 – Derren Brown gets a new illusion he can try out on his friends before he takes it to the big time
  • February 26 – Michael Bolton gets an assumption of his current state
  • February 25 – Ric Flair gets a bucket list of sorts
  • February 24 – Edward James Olmos gets a religious rumination
  • February 23 – Patricia Richardson gets a fondness for my protégé
  • February 22 – Rachel Dratch gets a posit on the catalyst to the extinction of humanity
  • February 21 – Jordan Peele gets a reflexive tangent, with (0,0) as my original origin
  • FEBRUARY 20 – CHELSEA PERETTI GETS A STORY OF LOVE, DESIRE, STRENGTH AND INDEPENDENCE
  • February 19 – Jeff Daniels gets a regular witnessing of car accidents
  • February 18 – Yoko Ono gets a debunking of a wishful career opportunity
  • February 17 – Jason Ritter gets a household milk consumption analysis
  • February 16 – Ice-T gets a burgeoning friendship’s first memory
  • February 15 – Alex Borstein gets an off-hand jeu de mots taken literally by parental units
  • February 14 – Rob Thomas gets a grievance concerning the fictional elderly’s technodiction
  • February 13 – Jerry Springer gets a poorly-executed reincarnation
  • February 12 – Judy Blume gets my self-identification as a writer
  • February 11 – Sheryl Crow gets a tale of reliability and friendship
  • February 10 – Chloë Grace Moretz gets a rumination on the forgotten generation in the cycle of discipline
  • February 9 – Tom Scharpling gets an underdog story, starring the black sheep of the loaf
  • February 8 – Seth Green gets a deli counter’s sneaky upsell attempt
  • February 7 – Chris Rock gets a crafty way to get time off work
  • February 6 – Tom Brokaw gets a specific desire for an iced coffee
  • February 5 – Michael Sheen gets Brunched
  • February 4 – Hannibal Buress gets a plea for a pivot in his performing career
  • February 3 – Warwick Davis gets a study of postal signature devices
  • February 2 – Nathan Fielder gets the lifestyle tactics omitted by the ‘normal’ person
  • February 1 – Abbi Jacobson gets an enemy for a day
  • January 31 – Bobby Moynihan gets a crow’s attack
  • January 30 – Wilmer Valderrama gets a hotel fire alarm
  • January 29 – Heather Graham gets told what she’s doing
  • January 28 – Sarah McLachlan is a secret bowling neighbour
  • January 27 – Patton Oswalt gets an Archie Comics disparagement
  • January 26 – Vince Carter gets celebrated by a child admirer
  • January 25 – Alicia Keys gets a nominative deterministic teaser
  • January 24 – Ed Helms is a neurokahunanarcissist
  • January 23 – Tiffani Thiessen gets an executive decision
  • January 22 – Guy Fieri gets a nibbling week
  • January 21 – Paul Allen goes on tour with Secret Connection
  • January 20 – Questlove gets a determinative cracker selection
  • January 19 – Dolly Parton gets a bumbling bee
  • January 18 – Jason Segel gets a body donation
  • January 17 – Joshua Malina gets a Baader-Meinhof’d rice pudding
  • January 16 – Lin-Manuel Miranda gets an alternate path to a coveted award
  • January 15 – Charo gets an avian alarm
  • January 14 – Jason Bateman gets a squirrel’s revenge
  • January 13 – Julia Louis-Dreyfus gets a painful hallumination
  • January 12 – Raekwon gets world leader factoids
  • January 11 – Mary J. Blige gets transferable Bop-It skills
  • January 10 – Jemaine Clement gets incremental name dropping
  • January 9 – Joan Baez gets Mickey Brennan’d
  • January 8 – Jenny Lewis gets a young Peter Pan
  • January 7 – Katie Couric gets a baristo’s indolence
  • January 6 – Julie Chen gets variations on a dining invitation
  • January 5 – deadmau5 gets a restructured week
  • January 4 – Dave Foley gets an outdoor slumber
  • January 3 – Dan Harmon gets pestered
  • January 2 – Jack Hanna gets animal considerations
  • January 1 – Verne Troyer gets the start of a project
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