It seems like everyone’s got a podcast these days, and I bet you get asked to be on all of them. Well you don’t have to worry about that with me, since I don’t have one, although I do have a growing list of ideas that you’re free to pick from if you want to make your own.
- CodPast – I’m from Newfoundland, which you’ve probably never heard of, unless you’re friends with Russell Crowe or Nipsey Russell or Wruss El, who all have summer homes on our coastline. But speaking of coastline, when I was a kid the Portuguese came over with trawlers and illegal nets with tiny holes in them and they took our fish, mainly cod, and so no one could fish there anymore, in what’s known as the cod moratorium, which was a friggin’ blow to the people whose only jobs were catching them. So this podcast is me speaking to unemployed Newfoundland fishermen to discuss the rise and fall of the cod industry in our province. The final episode, Pod Moratorium, is so named because the show will be forced into hiatus due to lack of advertisers.
- Podcrew – Interviewing crew members on notoriously disastrous films, like special effects makeup artist Maggie Fung on The Island of Dr. Moreau.
- Live in the Moment – An interview with a celebrity, but I don’t record it in any way, to keep the dialogue natural and unencumbered by future perception.
- [Note: Live is pronounced as in Saturday Night Live, not Liv Newton-John. Tig already confused people like this but the hopeful podcaster is make it happen again.]
- Cabin Fever – Myself and the other three hosts record ourselves from 8am to 2am, which is subsequently edited down to one hour. Nobody is allowed to leave the room during that period.
- [Note: There is a toilet and a toilet curtain for the nervous peeers among us.]
- [Note: Fever is pronounced like Saturday Night Fever, not like the French verb “to fève” meaning “to bean”)]
- Podcastaway – I, with my regular voice, am the host. I have a number of guests, who are all versions of me with different effects added so I sound like unique people. We all go a little crazy, and there might even be some intentionally transparent subliminal messaging.
- Happy Birthdays – Each week for almost two years, I interview a different increasingly-older person whose birthday it is, starting with someone turning 1 and ending with a different person on the day they turn 100.
- Butt Movies – This is a ‘bad movie’ podcast but with the greatest films ever. We dissect the Citizen Kanes of the world and really tear them new ones.
- Interrupting Cow-hosts – A guest tells one long story about a meaningful event in their life. The annoying hosts interrupt them with irrelevant questions, annoying comments and tangential equations.
- Hypodthetical – Two people discuss their takes on hypothetical questions.
- There is no 10. Chowse ensues.
[Editor’s note: In a different life, the podcaster hopeful above had a dream in which you and a Hal went set-for-set at UCB.]