I don’t know about you, but there’s a few things I’d like to do before I die.

I’d love to save someone’s life. I want to be interviewed on the news right after I risk my safety to keep an old woman from getting hit by a car, and someone will come up and call me a hero. And then I’ll get to look them in the eyes and say “I’m not a hero. I just did what anyone would do in my position.” And then the person interviewing me on TV would think I was brave AND humble, so she’d fawn over me and giggle a bit.

I also want to hit a kid who’s being a big jerk in public. You hear stories about old guys doing it and it sounds right up my alley.

I’d like to storm out of a dinner. Pretend to get offended about something that’s said, make this proud declaration about taking the moral high ground, and then walk out. After I eat but before the bill comes.

What else? Heroin. Oh man. I bet that feels pretty good.

Either that or achieving pure transcendence at some point.


February 25 – Ric Flair gets a bucket list of sorts
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2 thoughts on “February 25 – Ric Flair gets a bucket list of sorts

  • February 26, 2018 at 2:44 am

    Will today’s post be Ian Smith’s Birthday?

    • February 27, 2018 at 9:07 pm

      Only when I earn my fame, as Michael Bolton has by being adored by old women everywhere.


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