Happy Birthday Jack Hanna! I like animals too, but probably not as much you. I once created a mammal called the strontoboreon, with a fox for a tail, a giraffe for an arm, and a black widow for a face. What is your favourite combination of animals? Don’t you find that slug is the onomatopoeia of the animal kingdom? Did you ever notice that other animals grow their own clothes, and if they can’t grow them, they don’t wear any. That’s one more thing we have to do to feel superior. “Look at me everyone! I have on an out-fit. My pants and my shirt have a high coordination correlation. And you haven’t even noticed my cufflinks yet! They link my cuffs, like the creator always intended.” And wait a minute here. What’s up with socks? Hiding them sweet toes from prying eyes I suppose. Do talk show hosts fake being afraid of your animals for ratings? I mean, it’s not even sweeps week.

January 2 – Jack Hanna gets animal considerations
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