Khloé Kardashian tells me the singer Adele has died.¹
Kelly gets sad when she hears of Adele’s death. For an unknown reason, I pretend I didn’t already know. We’re hosting a party at a hip restaurant. As Dave and Aimee enter, it becomes obvious that she’s pregnant, while he has long hair with random patches shaved on his head. Louie is there too, and the hug I give him is awkward. He rightfully calls me out on it, and then we’re back to normal. Steve, whose girlfriend is studying hospitality so they can run an island tour guide company together, tells me about a bubble in the middle of the ocean that some water skiers accidentally fall down sometimes. I ask if they keep going forever, assuming the hole in infinite. His reply is, ”Not exactly. Well, first they want to fall asleep.” Then he either saucily or emphasizingly repeats the word “infinite” over and over.
Now at work, I have to call deceased employees on the phone and ask them where they’d like their picture to be positioned on the company’s memorial wall. The first guy who answers is pretty dismissive, like I’m interrupting an important meeting he’s having in the afterlife. “I don’t care,” he says. “Why would I care?” He has a point, and then he hangs up. My next task is to work on a rebranding for our division, with my suggested new names being Glacier Twenties and Glacier Rollers, thinking that we’re a sports team.
It’s lunch time, but before I’m able to leave the office I am kidnapped from my desk by a masked man who tells me the codeñame for his mission – Hostage on a Hill. Once on said hill, we toss our food on the ground to distract the terrorists. I try to get Toast to ignore the food but that’s not happening. Our goal is to escape using Google Teleportation², but it’s still in beta, so it’s very finicky. Aimee and Dave want to get to a movie by 8:00pm. It’s 7:40pm now and we still haven’t eaten, probably because we used all our food in the earlier terrorist distraction.
¹ [Author’s note: This happens in the first dream. Then I wake up and take Toast out for a pee in real life. Everything afterwards occurs after I fall asleep again.]
² [Editor’s note: Don’t get your hopes up. Not yet, anyway.]