While you are a funny man whose shoulders I hope to one day stand on, for now, I am but a lowly cheese melter.

As a child, I was banished to the sewers, with my father refusing to accept my deformity. The creatures of the underworld raised me as their own. I learned from them, and they learned from each other, but for a while, nobody learned from me.

There comes in a time in every young sewer person’s life, when he must rise again, to help his community in whatever ways he can. Stealing food, begging. But me, I was blessed with a golden skill. I was the only one of my clan who wrangled my way into the life of an upperworlder, developing a mutualistic relationship with a property owner.

The head alderman’s brother was always a little eccentric, but those who knew him saw the brilliance he was trying to realize. He gave me a chance. I was huddled over a barrel fire when he approached and handed me a coat. I was sure to be only an interesting anecdote for him, but I cracked wise, and he laughed heartily. When I went to leave, knowing I should not get too close with someone of his caste, he encouraged me to stay. While his caretaker cooked me a hot meal, he asked about my life with genuine interest. He looked away for but a moment, and I picked at the board in front of me, gorging on the fresh meats and cheeses, delights I never had imagined.

One of the morsels of cheese, later learned to be an aged white cheddar, was difficult to eat due to its hardness. When he returned he saw the faint tooth marks in the cheese and tried himself to bite off a piece, but he faced the same barrier that I had. Instinctively and with no regard for social customs, I picked up the roman candle on the table and began melting this cheese. Oh, the flavours that were released! My host would tell me I was the first to create them as they were.

I came above more often after that night, to join my new friend and melt his cheese, with the generous scraps returned to me, to return to my people, to feast on the delectable delicacies of the surface dwellers.

April 7 – Eric Wareheim gets a melting cheeseman
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