Happy Birthday Jemaine Clement! A few years ago I wrote this song about David Bowie because one of his songs was too expensive for my friend to use in her film. I only learned after that your Bowie song in the show intended to include the man himself, so his absence was probably disappointing to you. But besides that, I have this friend Adam who is decidedly more famous than I am. Not like real famous, but Newfoundland famous, which means you never heard of him, but I don’t think anyone anywhere has heard of me so I’m sticking with my initial assertion. I was hanging out with him the other day and we went out for a cigarette on the back porch of our other buddy’s house. He’s a decent storyteller when the air is crisp and he has a smoke in his hand, and this means he’ll usually take the lead in the conversation, which is fine with me. Adam used to be in a band, and one time they were in the middle of touring with Stars. So he starts telling me this story about hanging out backstage with the main guy in Stars, Torquil Campbell, who happens to be more famous than him. Torq lit up a cigarette inside the theatre, and he noticed Adam giving him a concerned look about that, but Torq said, “We’re rock stars. They expect it from us!” and that was enough for Adam to loosen up. So Torq started telling him a story about a play he was in years ago, with the actor Philip Seymour-Hoffman, who most would agree is far more famous than Torq, Adam, and myself. One way this is evident is how I will only refer to him as Philip Seymour-Hoffman. So Philip Seymour-Hoffman apparently told Torq about how when he was just getting started in acting and was at a party in New York, where he got to meet John Lennon, one of the most famous people ever, so much so that I can simply call him John and most people will know who I’m talking about. Philip Seymour-Hoffman said that John actually came up to him and asked him if he wanted to go out for a smoke with him. Now Philip Seymour-Hoffman didn’t smoke at the time, but he figured this was a good time to start if John Lennon wants to have a cigarette with him. While they were outside together, John told him that when he was younger, The Beatles had a residency in Hamburg where they played almost every night for over a year in the early 1960s. After a show one night, John went out for a smoke with their drummer at the time, Pete Best, and ran into a long-haired guy in flip flops and a scraggly outfit. After talking to him for a while, John eventually realized who it was. Turns out buddy was Jesus.

January 10 – Jemaine Clement gets incremental name dropping
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