So I’m on the roof here mindin’ my own, got a few chairs set up, bitta music on. This crow – huge fella, all black and pointy – he come outta nowhere, swoop down like I’m sittin’ in his friggin’ nest and he don’t want me there. He makes this crazy noise like he want me to know he comin’ for me. I moves my head right quick so he only barely hits me, knocks the hat clean off me head. I swiped at him but he just flew away, not even caring really. I looks up and he’s on the pole and got somethin’ in his mouth. I looks closer and sees it’s me pet raccoon. He musta grabbed her off the deck there when I was protectin’ me own face. So he takes me ‘coon over to his nest in the tree and just starts rippin’ her to shreds, guts goin’ everywhere. I’m half pissed now, tryin’ to figger out how to climb the tree before the r’coon was fer sure a goner, but it was one of dem real tall ones wit’ barely any branches, so I just sat back down to watch the show. So don’t let yer r’coons out in the hood or the crows’ll get ‘em.

January 31 – Bobby Moynihan gets a crow’s attack
Tagged on:                 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *