Do you know why the alphabet is in the specific order that it is? Is it because of that song? If that’s the only reason, for the seven’s sake, let’s mix it up. As we forge forth, I propose to make my order of favourites the new world alphabet.

This choice sequence, with no shadows or doubts, is JSZBQGACXKPLMNODVUHETRIYFW. No need for all of those syllables, W – you’re embarassing yourself. LMNO remains in sequence because it’s fun to say.

Someone once tested me on what my preferred letter of the alphabet was: a) C. b) D. c) B. d) A. My answer? e) None of the above. It’s actually W, primarily because commands respect with those extra syllables, three times as many more that its nearest competitor, every other letter! I contradict because I cause. Most of that was a lie. My favourite letter is really Y. The physical lines are sensual in a way that a K just couldn’t get into. Q gets a bad rap because of its dependence on u, but anyone whose spelling is just adding a bunch of silent vowels is my kind of character. “Alphabet” is just an abbreviation for “Alphabetagammadeltaepsilonzetaetathetaiotakappalambdatitmunuxiomicronpirhosigmatauupsilonphichipsiomega” anyway.

And anyway, what are we still doing using QWERTY keyboards. AZERTY is fine, I suppose, and Maltron is for the cultish, but gimme dat Dvorak, you know. I’m sure Radek would agree, even the bonky one.

July 13 – Ken Jeong gets alpha beat
Tagged on:                 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *