I work in marketing, and no matter what Bill Hicks says, I’ll probably go on living anyway. I first got turned on to the advertising field as a five-and-a-half-year-old and saw three mind-blowing commercials back-to-back-to-back. It turns out most marketing jobs these days are more focused on data and efficiency and selling and framing rather than actual creative output, but I’m looking to move towards a role where I only need to use my rightest brain, and so I’ll be showcasing some of my bright ideas to here.
I’ve also always wanted to start companies, ever since my six-year-old self sat on a busy corner next to my house with a bottle of poppers and a rag, eager to sell my services under the name Rise and Shoeshine. I realized then that coming up with the moniker was a lot more fun than kneeling on concrete polishing leather, so my upcoming businesses will be more of that, the marketing of it all. Potential names are Talos Design, Climb Creative and Red Eye Marketing, but I’ll probably think of a better one in a minute and go with that instead.
FedEx: Freight or Flight – We’ll get it there.
Fogo Island Inn: Wake me up before you Fogo.
City of Pamplona Tourism: Get gored, not bored!
The Wallpaper Company: Don’t worry – this will be paintless!
Planned Parenthood: I. You. D?
Rolo: Rolo? YOLO!
Bing: One Bing to search them all, One Bing to find results, and in the darkness Bing the pain.