I’m playing basketball and getting a lot of steals. Mindy Kaling, who’s coaching the other team, takes me aside and asks matter-of-factly, not in a mean way, “Do you think your style of play is helping our girls prepare for their tournament?” I slink away and concede that it’s more of a hindrance.
I set up the camera to tape a game of tug of war happening off to the side, but I don’t get a chance to check it to see how it looks.
The day after Coachella, Beyoncé posts on Instagram in bed eating ice cream with her two kids and a clearly pregnant belly. I try to show Kelly but it doesn’t exist anymore.
Lacey hears I’m coming to Toronto and wants to hang out but without leaving her house. She agrees to have a party, even as she warns that sketchy people will definitely be showing up.
I run into Graeme outside my subway stop. He insists on paying my fare, but the driver doesn’t see it and I have to pay again. Finally, I meet up with Romesh and Hogan at Long & McQuade. I find out the store actually have a lifetime return policy on Martins, but I don’t consider taking advantage of it. Romesh steals a book, but only after loudly announcing he’s putting it back and being a bad sneak.
I leave him to his own shenanigans and start walking down a mime-filled street with Bridger, Matt and a few others. They’re very excited to name their new kid Roberto because of how many different names he could go with. According to Bridger, we could call him, “Rob, Robbie, Robert, Bob, Bobby, Bobert, Rubber Toe, Boob, Norbert, Orbit, and there’s definitely a ton more!”