Oblangata is a Nigerian woman of untold age. She is loud and intrusive, tough but kind-hearted.

Erin is newly married and five months pregnant with her first child. She absolutely adores Oblongata.

O was Erin’s mother’s doula when she was the fetus, during the time that Erin’s father was working as a civil engineer in an Abujan suburb.
Erin’s parents went missing on a hike in the Rocky Mountains a couple of months ago. Erin and her husband Teddy are staying at her childhood home until they are able to find some resolution in the situation.

Oblangata calls Erin to express her condolences when she hears about what happened. They get to talking and Erin hires Oblangata as her doula, flying her across the world to live with them at least until the baby is born.

O uses many alternatives techniques during the pre-birth period, giving both Erin and Teddy unusual instructions on how to live during this stressful time to ensure the baby arrives healthy and happy. She thinks Teddy is useless, lazy and has a bad aura, but she also believes that he can change and be a wonderful husband and father. O and Teddy often disagree on her methods. For example, Vince wants Erin to give birth in a hospital, while O wants her to give birth on a low branch of a maple tree.

Erin trusts Oblangata implicitly and she thinks that Teddy is overreacting with his explicit dissatisfaction of O.

In each episode, there’s a minor or major pre-natal decision that needs to be made, with Teddy and Oblangata each arguing for different sides. Oblangata usually wins.

A couple of months after Oblangata moves in – Erin’s parents still unaccounted for – her husband Friday arrives on their doorstep expecting to stay with them as well, which only increases tension in the household. Friday is a serial failed entrepreneur and can easily be described as presumptuous.

A few weeks before Erin’s due date, O and Friday are deported. Apparently a Somali boy said the word “bomb” flippantly in a large train station, and so all African citizens are being forced to return home. This is topical as it shares many similarities with the recent “Muslim Ban”. Teddy has contacts at the Immigration department and Erin implores him to get O back in the country so she can get back in the habit of taking care of the baby in person.

The following are some quotes and exchanges that will give you a better idea about who these people are as well as their relationships with each other.

Erin: “I know she’s a bit kooky, but she helped me become the woman you love.”
Teddy: “Okay, we’ll give her a shot.”
Oblangata (eavesdropping): “I’ll give you a shot – of hepatitis to ya butt – if ye don’t get more Oreos for Momma O! Heh!”

Oblangata (to Erin): “M’darlin, ye gotta turd whenever ye feeel lakit. No tiime to git to the turdbowl, ya kno?”
Teddy (to Erin): “Well at least wear a diaper!”
O (to Teddy): “A’right, she kin wear a di-pa. But ye gonna hafta change it!”

O (to Teddy): “I helped one of the young princesses birth the future king.

O (to Erin): You yerself was waterbirthed in the middle of the Oguta during a mudstorm.”

O (to Teddy): “Wine is fine – it calms the moms!”

[Note: Oblangata has many different names for the baby, none of which are ‘baby’, like ‘wigwam’, ‘almond nugget’ and ‘little loaf’. However, she almost always calls Teddy ‘baby’.]
O: “This wigwam is special.”
Teddy: “What’s the wigw—”
O: “The baby, baby!”

Teddy (to O after she mystically styled Erin’s hair, replete with worms intended to ward off evil pre-natal spirits known as ‘tungas’): “You’re turning her into a medusa, Oblangata!”

Friday: “Teddy, baby -“
Teddy: “Not you too!”
Friday: “I got a golden goose farm and ye’re gunna wan’ in on it, I promise ya!”
[Note: The ‘golden goose farm’ is a mixed-up metaphor. Friday is chock full of mixed-up metaphors.]

Teddy (to O, after seeing a large device, which turns out to be a placenta encapsulator, on the coffee table): “What in Moses is this for?”
O: “To catch the plasagna!”
Teddy: “The what?”
O: “The labour gravy! Baby juice handbag?”
Teddy: “Wait – she is not eating her pla-”
O: “You’d rather me give you a placenta slap, Teddy, baby?!”

November 12 – Megan Mullally gets my doula Oblangata
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