While playing in a pickup basketball game, Bill Burr is being overly aggressive on the defensive end. He fouls me, and we’re over the bonus, but unfortunately the foul line is behind half court and I miss both shots. Somehow everyone else can’t believe I didn’t get them both in. In hindsight, I might have been distracted thinking about how ashamed of me Bill would be if he knew I hide the empty bag of chips deep down in the garbage because I don’t want my girlfriend to know I ate them.

After the game, I leave my water bottle in gym. I’m waiting for Leah to pick me up, so I walk up the dark road and go into McDonald’s, where Moose, Greening and those guys are in there. I mention how strange it is bumping into them here. I say I was waiting for Leah in front of the gym, holding my shirt up exposing my nipples, but she still didn’t show up.

I ask no one in particular about milkshakes, and the cashier apologizes for only having strawberry. She hands me an apple pie and expects payment. I claim I never ordered it but everyone else says I did. I want nuggets too but I don’t think that’s going to happen, so I bolt.

As I’m running away, Megan Brown’s mom calls me crying, saying Shannon’s been missing for over five minutes and pleading for me to find her. Although no one can see my face, I scrunch it up to indicate my confusion and enter the nearest house to escape the cold.

I’m in Mark’s old bedroom, trying to make extra room. I go to throw away most of his CDs but they all contain autographs and personal messages, so it wouldn’t feel right.

There are two copies of a Beatles coffee table book, but both are A-M songs. No one ever buys the N-Z because part two of a gift doesn’t work without part one, but this leads to an overabundance of A-Ms. Besides, we miss out on songs like Sgt. Pepper’s and While My Guitar Gently Weeps. I guess overall the first book is better, but not when you have two copies of it.

June 10 – Bill Burr gets offensive on the defensive end
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