Have you ever felt uncool? You emanate class on a level I can’t even see from where I’m standing. One time I was too uncool to even clean myself. I was at my aunt’s house last year, about to take
Happy Birthday Jemaine Clement! A few years ago I wrote this song about David Bowie because one of his songs was too expensive for my friend to use in her film. I only learned after that your Bowie song in
Happy Birthday Joan Baez! It was a different time when you were younger, I bet, but you seem to be cooler than ever. When my dad was a kid, he knew this fella Mickey Brennan. Mickey started up a softball
Happy Birthday Jenny Lewis! What is your favourite birthday memory? I remember the day I turned 7. I was the eponymous Peter Pan in my class’s student-altered French-language stage version based on characters created by J.M Barrie. There were two
Happy Birthday Katie Couric! I wish you the best today, I really do, but there’s something on my mind and I’d like to know how you feel about it. So the other day I walk into this coffee shop near
Happy Birthday Julie Chen! I like the way you asked questions to the Big Brothers like they had important things to say when really I’m not so sure they did, and I’m not so sure you think they did either.
Happy Birthday Joel Zimmerman! My friend wore your head one time. I’ve never said that to anyone else. Remember when Bill Gates was the only one who could control his thermostat with his voice? With the robots having taken over,
Happy Birthday Dave Foley! I bet at this point you’ve heard every “in the hall” pseudo-joke people have to offer, and you nod along smilingly waiting for it all to be over. If you haven’t done so in a while,
Happy Birthday Dan Harmon! At what age did you decide Dan suited you better than Daniel or Danny? ‘Magine if it was Dan Pudi and Danny Harmon. You can’t, I bet. I bought the real Dan Pudi a beer at
Happy Birthday Jack Hanna! I like animals too, but probably not as much you. I once created a mammal called the strontoboreon, with a fox for a tail, a giraffe for an arm, and a black widow for a face.
