Whenever someone tells me of an accomplishment they accomplished, like winning a gold medal at some form of the Olympics, I say, “Okay, sure, but are you happy?” They usually think for a minute and eventually say no, in some
I have a few suggestions for stand up specials that those incessant nagging wannabes you likely have to deal with are free to use so they’ll shut up asking for advice. Since comedy comes in fours, here’s a quartet of
Don’t vote, you say. Voting is a waste of time, you say. A single vote in our system means nothing and never will, you say as well. Well this flawed theory assumes that going to the voting station is a
The northernest European region boasts the highest quality of life, the freshest air, the loveliest accents, the Karl Ove Knausgaards, and the greatest expanse of useful regional terms. This last aspect is called the Scandinavian Sprawl, and it permeates your
You have moves. You know, dance moves. I, too, has dance moves. I’m what’s known around these parts as a dancer. And not like those grinder college kids. I mean I really dance. Like in a pretty good way. In
Random fandom is something I’ve never been able to get behind. If none of it is real anyway – death, love, power, money, etc. – it’s hard to get emotionally invested in a hockey team. But real fandom, the fully
Prison would actually be pretty great if you were in there with a bunch of your friends. That’s why every now and then you run into a guy who was in there, then got out, but doesn’t mind going back.
You will be pleased to see that I have picked you over your brother as the important birthday of the day. Actually, I’m sorry for bringing him up. It must get a little annoying always being a twin, from being
Years ago I read The Game and considered for a moment using magic and peacocks to further my relationship goals. However, I quickly realized it would take more than that, due to my many idiosyncrasies, outlined below, in case you
Hey, I cook too! But I’m no foodie, whatever the jesus that is. I don’t Instagram my suppers as the delay in eating leads to unnecessarily cooling of the meal. I don’t blog about the freshest kale I just ate.
