So it’s early in the morning, when I should be up cooking breakfast or something by then, which I am, for ourselves and a friend who spent last night on our couch. We start off pretty good, frying up some
Joscelyn is a wonderful, weighty given name. But a lot of really strong names are no longer given to children, if they ever were. Where’s Genghis? We’re all descended from one. A few mothers should pay him some respect. Wolfgang
Okay, so the main kid, the one in the top left corner, him and his buddies get bullied a bit. They have like, a club – but the kid had actually died in the real world. Well, everyone thought he
In a standoff, a real old school standoff where you’re pointing a gun at someone and he (or she! But probably he. Hes love guns.) is pointing one at you, each presumed to have one remaining bullet, there is a
The sunlight enveloped the city in a haze, inviting me to squint my way around the neighborhood. I need real sunglasses, not these Kensington knockoffs that pretend to protect the eyes they’re in front of. The lady told me they
While you are a funny man whose shoulders I hope to one day stand on, for now, I am but a lowly cheese melter. As a child, I was banished to the sewers, with my father refusing to accept my
Remember when everyone got mad at you for trying to raise money to make a movie? That must have been a little frustrating for you, especially since you were essentially a pioneer, or at least an early adopter, when it
Whenever someone tells me of an accomplishment they accomplished, like winning a gold medal at some form of the Olympics, I say, “Okay, sure, but are you happy?” They usually think for a minute and eventually say no, in some
I have a few suggestions for stand up specials that those incessant nagging wannabes you likely have to deal with are free to use so they’ll shut up asking for advice. Since comedy comes in fours, here’s a quartet of
Don’t vote, you say. Voting is a waste of time, you say. A single vote in our system means nothing and never will, you say as well. Well this flawed theory assumes that going to the voting station is a
