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march

March 31 – Kate Micucci gets parodical jams

March 31 – Kate Micucci gets parodical jams

I write songs too. And I write parody songs too. That’s two things we have in common. That’s probably it. Anyway, here are some of my parodies. I won’t give away all the lyrics because you can never be too

iansmitty March 31, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 30 – MC Hammer gets a break from having to constantly reinvent himself with sweet new dance moves

March 30 – MC Hammer gets a break from having to constantly reinvent himself with sweet new dance moves

You have moves. You know, dance moves. I, too, has dance moves. I’m what’s known around these parts as a dancer. And not like those grinder college kids. I mean I really dance. Like in a pretty good way. In

iansmitty March 30, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 29 – Lucy Lawless gets a word named after her, and then a bunch of other ones

March 29 – Lucy Lawless gets a word named after her, and then a bunch of other ones

I named a word after you. Xenaphobia is experienced by people who are afraid of strong, confident women. It was so much fun coming up with that one, so I went ahead and invented a few more, all of which

iansmitty March 29, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 28 – Reba McEntire gets a foiled attempt at laziness

March 28 – Reba McEntire gets a foiled attempt at laziness

I’m sitting at gate 42 in Terminal C of YHZ, waiting to get back home after a short business trip. An announcement comes over the loud speaker informing us that the gate’s been moved, all the way to gate 7,

iansmitty March 28, 2018March 1, 2020 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 27 – Mariah Carey gets warned about the stalkers becoming stans

March 27 – Mariah Carey gets warned about the stalkers becoming stans

Random fandom is something I’ve never been able to get behind. If none of it is real anyway – death, love, power, money, etc. – it’s hard to get emotionally invested in a hockey team. But real fandom, the fully

iansmitty March 27, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 26 – Todd Barry gets a Hershey’s holiday hardship

March 26 – Todd Barry gets a Hershey’s holiday hardship

I know you like getting free stuff, and it must be nice to be in a position to make that happen. But there’s also the opposite of free stuff, and that comes in the form getting scammed. Sometimes that scamming

iansmitty March 26, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 25 – Doug Stanhope gets a mugger’s salvation

March 25 – Doug Stanhope gets a mugger’s salvation

Prison would actually be pretty great if you were in there with a bunch of your friends. That’s why every now and then you run into a guy who was in there, then got out, but doesn’t mind going back.

iansmitty March 25, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 24 – Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers

March 24 – Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers

Bartleby Brothers was sitting on his front porch, playing with his toy truck, when he found himself looking around at all the other houses in his neighbourhood. In each and every one of them lived one mom and one dad

iansmitty March 24, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 23 – Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan

March 23 – Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan

It seems like everyone’s got a podcast these days, and I bet you get asked to be on all of them. Well you don’t have to worry about that with me, since I don’t have one, although I do have

iansmitty March 23, 2018March 1, 2020 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 22 – William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man

March 22 – William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man

You must be so sick of interviews at this point. I mean, how many nerds want to ask you about something you did 50 years ago? Too many, I bet. I’d like to ask you a few questions too, and

iansmitty March 22, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more
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