I write songs too. And I write parody songs too. That’s two things we have in common. That’s probably it. Anyway, here are some of my parodies. I won’t give away all the lyrics because you can never be too
March 31 – Kate Micucci gets parodical jams
March 30 – MC Hammer gets a break from having to constantly reinvent himself with sweet new dance moves
You have moves. You know, dance moves. I, too, has dance moves. I’m what’s known around these parts as a dancer. And not like those grinder college kids. I mean I really dance. Like in a pretty good way. In
March 29 – Lucy Lawless gets a word named after her, and then a bunch of other ones
I named a word after you. Xenaphobia is experienced by people who are afraid of strong, confident women. It was so much fun coming up with that one, so I went ahead and invented a few more, all of which
March 28 – Reba McEntire gets a foiled attempt at laziness
I’m sitting at gate 42 in Terminal C of YHZ, waiting to get back home after a short business trip. An announcement comes over the loud speaker informing us that the gate’s been moved, all the way to gate 7,
March 27 – Mariah Carey gets warned about the stalkers becoming stans
Random fandom is something I’ve never been able to get behind. If none of it is real anyway – death, love, power, money, etc. – it’s hard to get emotionally invested in a hockey team. But real fandom, the fully
March 26 – Todd Barry gets a Hershey’s holiday hardship
I know you like getting free stuff, and it must be nice to be in a position to make that happen. But there’s also the opposite of free stuff, and that comes in the form getting scammed. Sometimes that scamming
March 25 – Doug Stanhope gets a mugger’s salvation
Prison would actually be pretty great if you were in there with a bunch of your friends. That’s why every now and then you run into a guy who was in there, then got out, but doesn’t mind going back.
March 24 – Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers
Bartleby Brothers was sitting on his front porch, playing with his toy truck, when he found himself looking around at all the other houses in his neighbourhood. In each and every one of them lived one mom and one dad
March 23 – Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan
It seems like everyone’s got a podcast these days, and I bet you get asked to be on all of them. Well you don’t have to worry about that with me, since I don’t have one, although I do have
March 22 – William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man
You must be so sick of interviews at this point. I mean, how many nerds want to ask you about something you did 50 years ago? Too many, I bet. I’d like to ask you a few questions too, and