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2016

April 10 – David Harbour gets a strange review of a condensed season

April 10 – David Harbour gets a strange review of a condensed season

Okay, so the main kid, the one in the top left corner, him and his buddies get bullied a bit. They have like, a club – but the kid had actually died in the real world. Well, everyone thought he

iansmitty April 10, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

Hospital #1

I spend my 30th birthday in a hospital bed, separated by a curtain from a man who cannot walk. Two days earlier, I was diagnosed with cancer, in the form of a gastrointestinal stromal tumour. To give you the gist

iansmitty November 9, 2017November 15, 2020 journal No Comments Read more

Raw Berts

I’m watching television, where Hillary Duff’s character is getting caught driving drunk on the children’s show “Wroberts Roberts”. I switch to the news and listen to the top story. Apparently, a Canadian astronaut isn’t allowed to go into space because

iansmitty November 9, 2017December 3, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

Gun Totes

It’s nighttime in December. Four lesser known members of N.W.A. appear to be in Shoppers together. It’s a bit cold in the store, and they’re waiting for medication so they all sit down on a long bench and stay close

iansmitty November 9, 2017December 3, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

Vanuatwo Piece Fi and Chi

Joe and I book a trip together, which leaves from JFK, so we meet in New York. I’m unable to find the email with my flight details, and I can’t figure it how to look it up. I have a

iansmitty November 9, 2017December 3, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

Yak Bak

While waiting to see Chris Gethard perform comedy at a restaurant, I write a note in my phone reminding myself to “write the foremost book on comedy.” After his set, I go home and tweet “saw @ChrisGethard perform.” with no

iansmitty November 9, 2017November 13, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

Pup Thirsty

Jonny Butler, who currently works at a public relations film, is being interviewed in the resort at which I work. I sneak into the room to watch and say hi. The interviewer asks me if I also want to sit

iansmitty November 9, 2017December 3, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

Norm-al

I show up unannounced at Norm Macdonald’s house in order to speak with him. We used to be writing partners, but I haven’t seen him for awhile and we never left things on the best terms. His neighbour, a sketchy

iansmitty November 8, 2017December 7, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

The Post Office Kidney Entity

Callahan comes over to visit me. Afterwards he tells me his grandparents took him aside to make sure he didn’t drop by to give me a kidney or something. Sure we were only watching baseball highlights on the fantastic new

iansmitty November 8, 2017November 30, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more

High Maintenance

The Guy is telling a story to his three friends about one of the first times he ever sold drugs, to a young woman his friend kind of knew. “There was a badge on the table, but it was so

iansmitty November 8, 2017December 3, 2017 Dreams No Comments Read more
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