The cleansing of the laundry should not be attempted as I am, but it must be done. I’ve let it go too long, and if not now, never. So down the stairs to the room with the machines, down the
October 7 – Thom Yorke gets anamnesis
We return to the location of a particularly memorable event-happening place, a death or a kiss or another feeling that outshines the other feelings in recent or unrecent memory. The location itself, in the three-dimensional structure we use to make
September 17 – Alex Ovechkin gets questionable certainties
My girlfriend asked me what time Staples closes, the one next to our house. I guessed 9:00pm, and, you won’t believe this, I was dead on! So it got me thinking, what else am I right about? Is archaeology now
September 12 – Paul F. Tompkins gets commissioned for marriage
Hello everyone. For some reason I was given the pleasure and privilege to perform this ceremony, so shut your butts up up and let me to that. I’d like to ask everyone to take your places. Seating is limited, so
September 5 – Raquel Welch gets the distinctions between meals
Meals are the most important food ingestions of the day. This is followed closely by snacks, and then accidental consumption of bugs and such. There’s a time and a place for each, as you damn well should know by now.
September 2 – Lennox Lewis gets into an agnosticky situation
At one point I was a proud atheist. I devoured Dawkins and nodded smugly in agreement, while hungrily absorbing Hitchens’s views and laughing along with Gervais at his most skeptical. I would regard with contempt those who turned to religion
July 28 – Lori Loughlin gets the negative side of laughter
Laughter is superior to any alternative. For the most part. Obviously, there are certain laughs that lean heavily toward the spectra of placation, discomfort or insanity, and these need to be eliminated the once. The polite laugh only serves as
July 26 – Mick Jagger gets wishful entropy
I know life is pretty foolish as it is, with there being so many crazy people and stupid people and houses shaped like shoes bridges full of locks with no keys. But it would still be better if this universe
July 23 – Monica Lewinsky gets enlisted to stop the war on stop signs
Sure, be against overseas military mobilization. And of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with advocating against the unrelenting ruin of our environment. Hell, it’s your right and almost duty to share your political stances with your neighbours. But come on
July 14 – Jane Lynch gets stuck with a bumper’s cryptic message
The other day I’m driving behind this truck and notice its lone bumper sticker that read, “I may be old, but at least I still have my hands.” Confused as an autumnal Chinese philosopher, I repeat the declaration out loud