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february

February 18 – Yoko Ono gets a debunking of a wishful career opportunity

February 18 – Yoko Ono gets a debunking of a wishful career opportunity

Do you have supportive people in your life? But like overly supportive, where it’s not actually a good thing. I’ll casually say I want to do a very specific thing with my life, and for whatever reason, people believe me.

iansmitty February 18, 2018March 24, 2019 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 17 – Jason Ritter gets a household milk consumption analysis

February 17 – Jason Ritter gets a household milk consumption analysis

There’s something that’s been taking up more of my mind-time lately, something I’ve never worried about previously. Since I came of age, or least of an age where I began purchasing my own milk, I’ve been a 1-litrer. I’d get

iansmitty February 17, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 16 – Ice-T gets a burgeoning friendship’s first memory

February 16 – Ice-T gets a burgeoning friendship’s first memory

I was walking home the other day and noticed a guy halfway down an alley smoking what I can only describe as the reefer. He noticed me noticing him and then turned around quickly so that I wouldn’t see his

iansmitty February 16, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 15 – Alex Borstein gets an off-hand jeu de mots taken literally by parental units

February 15 – Alex Borstein gets an off-hand jeu de mots taken literally by parental units

My mom was describing this thing she’s picked up recently called “mind clearing”, an approach to meditation building on mindfulness approaches, with the ultimate aim of reducing suffering caused by mental, emotional, relationship and spiritual distress, by (as you may

iansmitty February 15, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 14 – Rob Thomas gets a grievance concerning the fictional elderly’s technodiction

February 14 – Rob Thomas gets a grievance concerning the fictional elderly’s technodiction

How come old people are the only ones who get to be 80 years young? Some kid who’s been alive for like 2 years, I can see how he’s 2 years young. But come on. Granny? She old as trees.

iansmitty February 14, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 13 – Jerry Springer gets a poorly-executed reincarnation

February 13 – Jerry Springer gets a poorly-executed reincarnation

My grandfather died when he was really young. He was only 35 at the time – died of a broken toe, because back then nobody knew how to cure anything, and they still couldn’t figure out where the toe was.

iansmitty February 13, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 12 – Judy Blume gets my self-identification as a writer

February 12 – Judy Blume gets my self-identification as a writer

I used to write too. Now I only wait. For it all to slow down. To get easier. For inspiration. To remember who I want to be. I’m not sure if I can keep it up. Once I admit it’s

iansmitty February 12, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 11 – Sheryl Crow gets a tale of reliability and friendship

February 11 – Sheryl Crow gets a tale of reliability and friendship

Now I know you’re all cawed out at this point, but I have to tell you about these two crows who follow me to work every day from the train station. The walk takes about five minutes. Without fail, they

iansmitty February 11, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 10 – Chloë Grace Moretz gets a rumination on the forgotten generation in the cycle of discipline

February 10 – Chloë Grace Moretz gets a rumination on the forgotten generation in the cycle of discipline

I feel like our parents’ generation had it the worst when it comes to all manner of discipline and related techniques. Everyone before them, for thousands of years, they all got hit as kids, when they were being little scallions

iansmitty February 10, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

February 9 – Tom Scharpling gets an underdog story, starring the black sheep of the loaf

February 9 – Tom Scharpling gets an underdog story, starring the black sheep of the loaf

Not often, but every now and then – once in a moon’s turn, when the yeast is at its silliest – the heel actually becomes the best piece of bread in the loaf. I know, I know, “How can that

iansmitty February 9, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays 2 Comments Read more
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