2016

I am in a utility mansion in a disputed part of the Ukraine currently controlled by Russia, although there are very few soldiers patrolling the place. Some people have set up tiny camps in the hallways, but it’s possible they

I am on a stage performing stand up, but I cannot think of any material. I dance wildly for a minute, really putting my whole body into it. I stop to say into the mic, “Sometimes you just can’t contain

As I sit in a coffee shop on my laptop, I’m approached by a stranger, an abrasive, pretentious woman. “What do you write? she asks, assuming I write. Me: “Uh, lots of stuff.” Her: “Well, write a joke right now.”

Bridger owns a pizza shop and is making dough when I walk in. She tells me how she found an alien but will be sending it to her lab soon. She hands me a large bottle of vodka and then

I just felt like an idiot for asking “Is this the lovely Nia?” to Bill Burr when I ran into him having lunch with a “la-dy”. He might have been cheating on Nia, and if so I made it more

I’m reading an article about the second rape case against Hulk Hogan being dropped, after he was already found guilty of a different one. Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend can see what I’m reading and says, “That’s okay. Everyone in America agrees