I walk past a woman who could have been Catherine O’Hara’s second cousin. She gives me a look like she is, in fact, Catherine O’Hara herself, and she seems inclined to talk about it. Me: Oh, hi, good morning. Catherine
The beach sends me away with enmity, so I head inland. But the jungle, it’s not mine. I defensively contend I’m a visitor when I feel like an intruder. The disruption of my invasion is not overlooked by those I
Hey, I found out I had the cancer in 2016 too! You definitely got way more media coverage than me, though. And to be fair, yours was probably scarier, even though mine might generated slightly more despair at a quick
On sweltering days, when the sun is out and the grocery store is having a sweet sale, I will buy a tub of ice cream, the mostly vanilla with hoof prints caramel chocolates scattered throughout, and I’ll feel nothing but
As far as I can tell, the people at the work think that I’m boring. And I don’t blame them. I’m mostly in my own head at the office, barely expressing any words not directly related to the projects I’m
(Who Left This Monkey-Freaking Suitcase on This) Monday to Friday (Plane?) — sponsored post Day 1: You’re walking to the bus stop, to take advantage of the always-on-time Translink service, on the way to your awesome job as a sales
I’m against war¹, but ho-lee, do I like war games. Now not those gunny console cartridges, or the paint firearms shooting paint bullets, or the training exercises that the big men do to show how big they are when there’s
Around twice a year, I relay an anecdote in which I apologized to someone I mistreated in the past. It didn’t actually happen. The apology didn’t, anyway. The mistreatment did. By pretending that I have apologized, it almost feels as
Mara: Ian, do you know Jordan? Jordan: Nice to meet you. Ian: We’ve actually met before, but I’m kind of glad you don’t remember. Jordan: Why, what happened? Ian: Well it was at a party at Emily and Matt’s last
One reason someone has seen fit that a multi-national corporation would benefit from regularly giving me money is that I’m able to successfully move websites up the rankings on the Google. This skill is transferable to other jobs, I’m sure,
