I was raised culturally Catholic, but my appearance in recent years has led strangers to assume I’m Jewish. A Palestinian with a mental illness once challenged me to a fight because of it when he got in my face about
April 29 – Jerry Seinfeld gets a cerealized hugger-mugger
In November of last year, the Trix rabbit was dead found in the woods near a popular swimming hole, his usual floppy ears wrapped tightly around his neck and hanging from a branch of an oak tree. This… is Cereal,
April 28 – Jessica Alba gets a weekend worrier
Maggie Trelanda is crying for the third time this week. All day, her boss Roy was up to his usual crumduggery, yelling about underperforming campaigns and budgetary antelopes, and Maggie, the sensitive soul that she is, couldn’t help but let
April 27 – Ace Frehley gets a straightforward review of Rand Acce Memo
Are you not conjointly enervated with the superfluous linguistical verbiage adopted by the critical bourgeois to substantiate their superincumbent intellect? Well I say let’s get back to basics. Album reviews in words with four letters or less. I can talk
April 26 – Jemima Kirke gets a scientific discovery
This whole life thing becomes increasingly mind-blowing the more you think about it. I am fully shocked that we’re not all freaking out all of the time, purely based on the incredibility of the world. Let’s begin with the overall
April 25 – Hank Azaria gets a character study
You play a good few characters on the teevee. You’ll likely never play any of mine, but you should get to know a few of them anyway, in case the paradigm shifts and someone gives me the run of the
April 24 – Barbra Streisand gets a rider’s guest list
You take it for granted, as you would after getting so many, but me and my ilk, the non-performers – we yearn to make our own guest list and see it come to fruition. I want people I know to
April 23 – John Oliver gets a platitude adjustment
In this world of polarized views and unpolarized sunglasses and melting polarized bears, meaningful sayings are all I have to get me through the days, one day at a time. For tomorrow is another day that has always been and
April 22 – Ryan Stiles gets a deeper game of Guess Who?
Morton: Do you believe in God? Whitney: No. Have you ever had a unique opinion about anything? Morton: No. Would you interrupt two people having an enjoyable private conversation in a bar? Whitney: Yes. If you found out your partner
April 21 – Tony Danza gets objectionable mondegreens
You must be so sick of the Tiny Dancer people telling you they confuse the line with your name. And rightfully so. But these misheard lines, they’re not all about getting you to hold people closer – they’re about everything,