I was in one of those large electronics stores the other day, looking at speakers and pretending that the differing volts and specs will help me determine which ones I want. I was there returning a keyboard I borrowed for
February 23 – Patricia Richardson gets a fondness for my protégé
I have this protégé now. It’s really strange having someone look up to me like he does, but pretty interesting too. Before this, I never felt like my actions made a difference in anyone else’s life but my own. Now
February 13 – Jerry Springer gets a poorly-executed reincarnation
My grandfather died when he was really young. He was only 35 at the time – died of a broken toe, because back then nobody knew how to cure anything, and they still couldn’t figure out where the toe was.
January 30 – Wilmer Valderrama gets a hotel fire alarm
A few days ago there was a nighttime fire alarm in my hotel, and I rushed to get outside to safety. When I finally reached the sidewalk, I realized I was naked. Others looked at me in disgust, or with
January 14 – Jason Bateman gets a squirrel’s revenge
You’re gonna laugh at me for this, you definitely already knew it – but anyway, I just found out I’m going to die someday. I’ve heard whispers through the years of other people acknowledging that fate for themselves, but I