A new kid in town, probably Allan, keeps getting bounced around to different places because his dad is in the military. Allan never has enough time to make any real friends, and he’s shy anyway. His mom tells him they’ll
May 20 – Louis Theroux gets a partially philanthropic experiment
The other day, I evidently created a Craigslist post that I had no recollection of making until opening my email the next morning. Accompanied by the image preceding this paragraph, it said, “Does anyone want anything? Anything at all? There’s
May 19 – Peter Mayhew gets a toasty toast to a like-bodied friend
You’re obviously best known for playing a furry friend, a faithful companion whose cuteness keeps him from ever getting into any real trouble. Well so is Toast. If you don’t know Toast, well he’s just fantastic. Whoever said that Muhammad
May 18 – Chantal Kreviazuk gets a noodlish tale of transformative proteins
In celebration of National Noodle Day, Noodlebox is having a deal on their flagship dish, the spicy peanut noodle box. It’s just $5, plus the varying extra cost of the protein. I can’t pass it up, so I head over
May 17 – Bob Saget gets One Dead Nan
Me and my buddy were talking about god knows what and at some point one of us said the words, “One Dead Nan”. For whatever reason, this was the funniest phrase we’d ever heard, so for his birthday, even though
May 16 – Pierce Brosnan gets our brief encounter and the examination of fame that it incited
Fame changes people’s lives, for the worse. We have all heard similar lines throughout our lives, and we accept them as truths, but we also assume our respective friends are immune to such superficiality. I want success, and I want
May 15 – Madeleine Albright gets a modernization of a classic rap song
As I previously mentioned, a couple of unnamed rappers wrote a song some years ago whose content is despicable to me and my minions, but the music itself is unfortunately quite catchy. Now more than ever, it’s time for a
May 14 – Amber Tamblyn gets some bedtime inspiration for her daughter’s world
I know you now have a baby daughter, which must be incredible and incomparable and insane, and I’m sure that Marlow will follow in your feet and end up having a net positive impact on the world, which isn’t easy
May 13 – Lena Dunham gets a hopeful artist’s showcase
I’m at an art show of a guy named Murakami, dubbed something about how octopodes will eat their own leg, hoping and mostly knowing it will regenerate, in order to escape entrapment. It’s symbolic in a way even the plebiest
May 12 – Rami Malek gets a robotic understudy
I’m the other kind of robot. Not the dutiful cog in the elaborated system, whose rigid movements are dictated by the unrepentant desire to acquire currency, to purchase assets, to attract a mate. With a better car than the neighbours,