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july

July 31 – J.K. Rowling gets the subsequent words my phone predicts I will want to say after wishing her a happy day

July 31 – J.K. Rowling gets the subsequent words my phone predicts I will want to say after wishing her a happy day

Happy birthday J. K. Rowling! I don’t think I get any money from them. When you moving? What time is your grandmother and the mountains quite a bit more. You can do this week and I’m flat out laughing at

iansmitty July 31, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 30 – Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a muggy inventory

July 30 – Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a muggy inventory

On an average day in the life of me, I will prepare and drink an orange pekoe tea in the morning, a cappuccino when I come home for lunch, and then a varying caffeine-free tea before bed. Depending on my

iansmitty July 30, 2018February 6, 2019 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 29 – Ken Burns gets the final Darwin Award winner

July 29 – Ken Burns gets the final Darwin Award winner

Ralph Darwin grew up with no purpose. He’d always wanted ambition but never knew how to find it. He looked under an old chair in the garage but even he knew that wouldn’t be the source of his justification of

iansmitty July 29, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 28 – Lori Loughlin gets the negative side of laughter

July 28 – Lori Loughlin gets the negative side of laughter

Laughter is superior to any alternative. For the most part. Obviously, there are certain laughs that lean heavily toward the spectra of placation, discomfort or insanity, and these need to be eliminated the once. The polite laugh only serves as

iansmitty July 28, 2018February 9, 2019 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 27 – Nikolaj Coster-Waldau gets a closeted battleground

July 27 – Nikolaj Coster-Waldau gets a closeted battleground

I’m against war¹, but ho-lee, do I like war games. Now not those gunny console cartridges, or the paint firearms shooting paint bullets, or the training exercises that the big men do to show how big they are when there’s

iansmitty July 27, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 26 – Mick Jagger gets wishful entropy

July 26 – Mick Jagger gets wishful entropy

I know life is pretty foolish as it is, with there being so many crazy people and stupid people and houses shaped like shoes bridges full of locks with no keys. But it would still be better if this universe

iansmitty July 26, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 25 – Matt LeBlanc gets da b’y who cr’yed

July 25 – Matt LeBlanc gets da b’y who cr’yed

Stacy and her boyfriend James enter through the side door into the kitchen, where her younger brother Silas is eating a bowl of banana oatmeal and reading a defunct magazine. The couple is finishing up a meaningless conversation, with James

iansmitty July 25, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 24 – Jennifer Lopez gets an apology from an old half pal

July 24 – Jennifer Lopez gets an apology from an old half pal

I was born in 1988, in the same news cycle that band-aids ended up lower case. As I came into the world, Jimmy Cagney left it, the little dustmite, and my mother still tells me I’m his reincarnation. My parents

iansmitty July 24, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 23 – Monica Lewinsky gets enlisted to stop the war on stop signs

July 23 – Monica Lewinsky gets enlisted to stop the war on stop signs

Sure, be against overseas military mobilization. And of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with advocating against the unrelenting ruin of our environment. Hell, it’s your right and almost duty to share your political stances with your neighbours. But come on

iansmitty July 23, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

July 22 – Shawn Michaels gets the freebooter’s attempt to live up to his name, along with a ridiculous coincidence

July 22 – Shawn Michaels gets the freebooter’s attempt to live up to his name, along with a ridiculous coincidence

A skinny little DJ Qualls-esque fool breaks into a house. He enters through a window while sneaky music plays. TF starts looking around for anything valuable. Eventually he sees a computer and picks it up. At that moment, but before

iansmitty July 22, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more
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