Around twice a year, I relay an anecdote in which I apologized to someone I mistreated in the past. It didn’t actually happen. The apology didn’t, anyway. The mistreatment did. By pretending that I have apologized, it almost feels as
July 20 – Judy Greer gets an allergy reaction
I am sitting in my desk on the first day of school, next to a new girl who appears nervous, as she should. The principal’s voice can be heard over the intercom. “We have a new student in Grade 2
July 19 – Jim Norton gets a Colombian standoff
Kelly and I land in Colombia at night and take a taxi to the place we’re staying. After dropping off our bags, we go for a walk around Cartagena’s Walled City. The streets are mostly deserted, but the first person
July 18 – Kristen Bell gets the days other things happened
With music already come and gone, we must press on together to find out what else happened when: June 16, 1940 – The day Wilford Brimley’s swimming instructor is corrected when he praises his student’s natural fishiness with a, “Great
July 17 – David Hasselhoff gets the days the music did stuff
You know about music, enough to make it with your little sing songs anyway. But do any of us really know music? It had lived a life, and in the end, that’s all anyone can ever hope for. Formative and
July 16 – Barry Sanders gets a fictional second meeting with a local filmmaker
Mara: Ian, do you know Jordan? Jordan: Nice to meet you. Ian: We’ve actually met before, but I’m kind of glad you don’t remember. Jordan: Why, what happened? Ian: Well it was at a party at Emily and Matt’s last
July 15 – Jesse Ventura gets a corpse collector’s prelude
Last year, about four thousand people successfully scaled Mount Everest, the highest peak in the world. It isn’t the hardest climb in the world, or the longest, but it is the highest. And that’s all anybody cares about. Many alpinists
July 14 – Jane Lynch gets stuck with a bumper’s cryptic message
The other day I’m driving behind this truck and notice its lone bumper sticker that read, “I may be old, but at least I still have my hands.” Confused as an autumnal Chinese philosopher, I repeat the declaration out loud
July 13 – Ken Jeong gets alpha beat
Do you know why the alphabet is in the specific order that it is? Is it because of that song? If that’s the only reason, for the seven’s sake, let’s mix it up. As we forge forth, I propose to
July 12 – Malala Yousafzai finally understands how one can hate
Hate is a strong word used to describe strong feelings towards things one does not like or is against or is a sports team that in based in a different city than one’s own. While it is often overused, in