John Cho sings, “No more Ellen¹ allowed in Canada, gotta give it up for them foo foo flaps”, which is hilarious to me in this plane. Now I think he’s funnier in real life, even though he didn’t actually say it, and it’s not actually funny in real life.²
I still take him to show and tell, and while waiting for someone else to go, we’re hanging out in the back of the class. We take turns sending a dinky to each other, both trying to hit an errant cranberry lying on the floor between us. We come really close but never manage to hit it.
On my mahogany desk with a chair attached, there’s a centrepiece looking plant with a bunch of edible shiny pine cones jutting out. I eat one of the pine flaps and am transported to a rented speed boat on a small town lake. I’m unable to control it so I jump out and into a different boat, but the wonky steering makes it impossible to get this new watercraft back to shore.
I wave down a local in a canoe, but he doesn’t appreciate the earnestness of my urgency. Instead he complains that, ”this girl was walking next to my driveway dressed like a hamster and then stops and poses³. Can’t leave stuff or anyone with these people.”
I want to ask what he means by “these people”, but I decide there are more pressing matters.
¹ [Author’s note: Degeneres]
² [Editor’s note: Yes it is.]
³ [Author’s note: The pose involves putting her hands on his hips while squinting.]