Do you like words? Me too! And not only the ones I make up myself. Want to hear a few actual ones that give me the straight up lock-down willies? Some make the list based on how they sound or
October 14 – Usher Raymond gets words to live by
October 13 – Sacha Baron Cohen gets advice from a man in a suit in a kiosk on a street
I punch in my redundant PIN number and request twenty smackeroos, which I’m handed stiffly by the supposed clerk on the other side of the envelope-sized slot. Hurrying back to the suited kiosked man, I trip and stumble over a
October 12 – Hugh Jackman gets a man in a suit in a kiosk on a street
Strolling down Water Street, I pass a homemade kiosk containing a well-dressed proprietor and an attached sign declaring, in bright green letters, that the man inside will provide surreal yet sound financial advice for a single dollar. Before today I
October 11 – Artie Lange gets a process template guaranteed to result in a successful stand up set
Recognize applause. Welcome audience. Thank previous comedian. Refer to one of their jokes with a lighthearted dig. Mention city that I’m in. Profess that it’s great to be here. Convey that I know a distinct characteristic of the location, something
October 10 – Dan Stevens gets an open letter to Infinite Jest
It’s not your fault I can’t get through you. I’ve been busy, okay, and I know you’ve heard all the excuses before, but mine are all true all the same. I enjoyed the 316 pages I did read, so much,
October 9 – Bella Hadid gets a country that turns out to just be a guy’s house
Pierre Gaudin was surprised to learn that his 2800 square foot property, which includes a two-car driveway and a shed that houses his skis and other seasonal equipment, had been declared an independent nationality over 31 years ago, after an
October 8 – Patrick Watson gets a birthday boyla
Birthdays bring with them intrinsically opposing outfits. The conical cardboard hat is popular, no doubt, but it’s nothing compared to the nothingness of nudity with a grin. Unfortunately, neither of those have I ever been comfortable wearing. Happy Birthday to
October 7 – Thom Yorke gets anamnesis
We return to the location of a particularly memorable event-happening place, a death or a kiss or another feeling that outshines the other feelings in recent or unrecent memory. The location itself, in the three-dimensional structure we use to make
October 6 – Amy Jo Johnson gets a drowning in a swimming pool and sum consequential possibilities
It doesn’t manifest itself when I jump in the ocean, or a lake, or a river. It may actually be the artificiality of the swimming pool that conjures the experience. The precise dimensions my subconscious is subjected to give off
October 5 – Neil deGrasse Tyson gets a snail’s demise and one of my own
Stepping inadvertently but directly onto the snail, I hear the crunch of her home under my feet. My view briefly becomes hers, as her consciousness defects from her shell and enters mine for the split moment on its path to