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2018

March 24 – Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers

March 24 – Louie Anderson gets Bartleby Brothers and His Seven Mothers

Bartleby Brothers was sitting on his front porch, playing with his toy truck, when he found himself looking around at all the other houses in his neighbourhood. In each and every one of them lived one mom and one dad

iansmitty March 24, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 23 – Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan

March 23 – Reggie Watts becomes a podcastellan

It seems like everyone’s got a podcast these days, and I bet you get asked to be on all of them. Well you don’t have to worry about that with me, since I don’t have one, although I do have

iansmitty March 23, 2018March 1, 2020 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 22 – William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man

March 22 – William Shatner gets a pretend interview with a fictional unobserved man

You must be so sick of interviews at this point. I mean, how many nerds want to ask you about something you did 50 years ago? Too many, I bet. I’d like to ask you a few questions too, and

iansmitty March 22, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 21 – Rosie O’Donnell gets a schubladenbrief

March 21 – Rosie O’Donnell gets a schubladenbrief

It is the middle of June in a year when people still actively remember Y2K fizzling out. I book a one-way flight to Toronto on a whim, with no real plan for when I land. Somewhere in my head I’m

iansmitty March 21, 2018March 21, 2020 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 20 – Spike Lee gets an encounter with a blind Venetian lady of the night

March 20 – Spike Lee gets an encounter with a blind Venetian lady of the night

When I was ordered to be stationed in Italy after the war, I gathered, from the way the other guys talked, that it would be the easiest few months since I was drafted. We were there on a peacekeeping mission,

iansmitty March 20, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 19 – Glenn Close gets my Olive Moment™

March 19 – Glenn Close gets my Olive Moment™

Well, it’s finally happened. And it’s about time. I have returned from having my olive moment, and I admit, that means a lot to me. I’ve actually been waiting for today for years, when at last I would be able

iansmitty March 19, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 18 – Queen Latifah gets an unplanned revolutionary origin

March 18 – Queen Latifah gets an unplanned revolutionary origin

I’m at a party on the 22nd floor of a building downtown, and based on the decorations it must be New Year’s Eve. My friends are all around me but for now I am alone. I’m watching the city below,

iansmitty March 18, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 17 – Rob Lowe gets my filmic concerns with slightly relevant #as#tags

March 17 – Rob Lowe gets my filmic concerns with slightly relevant #as#tags

In the course of my movie watching, I often catch myself falling for the pitfalls of misattribution. Other times I discover continuity holes, missed opportunities or potential connections. These are their stories. • For the entirety of Room, I thought

iansmitty March 17, 2018December 31, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 16 – John Darnielle gets a dream that, when scrawled on paper, evolves into a film about a calamitous first day at work

March 16 – John Darnielle gets a dream that, when scrawled on paper, evolves into a film about a calamitous first day at work

The other day I had this dream that woke me up, as it strongly urged me to write it down. It quickly turned into a short film, and someday when it gets filmed I can legitimately call it that. So

iansmitty March 16, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

March 15 – Bret Michaels gets a welcome mat switcheroo

March 15 – Bret Michaels gets a welcome mat switcheroo

I’m walking my friends home from the bar because the air is crisp and the friends are clean. As we approach their place, I acknowledge that I will not be immediately continuing on. There’s unfinished business inside, and although I’m

iansmitty March 15, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more
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