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2018

October 4 – Liev Schreiber gets cautioned by a porscheman

October 4 – Liev Schreiber gets cautioned by a porscheman

As a man with a Porsche, I have a duty to those without. I represent for you the possibility of possibilities, and so I must maintain the appearance of happiness and importance, of someone you wish you were. It can

iansmitty October 4, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

October 3 – Gwen Stefani gets a holler back woman

October 3 – Gwen Stefani gets a holler back woman

This, this is what I enjoy. The warning of your impending arrival. I have been through this before and I am ready for you. As you should know by now, I am not a woman with whom you can simply

iansmitty October 3, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

October 2 – Sting gets a self-imposed music appreciation tax

October 2 – Sting gets a self-imposed music appreciation tax

There’s a golden age for everything, and an inevitable bubble burst that follows. Get in at the right time, and out at the righter time, and you’re laughing. For musicians, it was 1991-2003¹, boom to bust. $20 CDs were being

iansmitty October 2, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

October 1 – Brie Larson gets a delayed wedding gift for Avi’s parents

October 1 – Brie Larson gets a delayed wedding gift for Avi’s parents

A long, not that long time ago, a young boy and dainty girl bumped into each other and liked each others smiles because they had the two best smiles in the world. They held hands and talked about stuff then

iansmitty October 1, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 30 – Eric Stoltz gets a characters study

September 30	– Eric Stoltz gets a characters study

Even being a famous, popular rich guy, you still have the wherewithal to pin this Horace Greeley quote to your Twitbox: “Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings. Only one thing endures, and that is character.” And

iansmitty September 30, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 29 – Kevin Durant gets a skeptical critique of an uncredible critic

September 29	– Kevin Durant gets a skeptical critique of an uncredible critic

“The Chicago Tribune says it’s the most original film of the year!” No it doesn’t. Michael Phillips does. A single person who happened to get a job or an assignment from the paper does. The blurbs are intended to lend

iansmitty September 29, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 28 – Annie Clark gets overexposed

September 28 – Annie Clark gets overexposed

You don’t become a musician for the money. You become a musician because your love of music collides with practice, taste, hard work, expertise, originality, community. Learning how to play instruments, conspiring with your friends, capturing euphoria in the sound,

iansmitty September 28, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 27 – Marc Maron gets a list of podcasts on my phone

September 27	– Marc Maron gets a list of podcasts on my phone

Casting a pod from your garage gave you your second wind on a calm day. You get interesting people to willingly open up about their lives and struggles and successes and idiosyncrasies and complexities, and this minimizes the chasms we’ve

iansmitty September 27, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 26 – Serena Williams gets an old one, unwittingly titled in parallel with a friend’s song

September 26 – Serena Williams gets an old one, unwittingly titled in parallel with a friend’s song

It startles me awake. Unmistakable. Your smile assures me I am not wrong. The sound of water trickling down to earth. We know what this means. The wells will fill up, the crops will sprout, we will be fine. We

iansmitty September 26, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 25 – Mark Hamill gets the story submitted and subsequently rejected, prompting yesterday’s piece

September 25	– Mark Hamill gets the story submitted and subsequently rejected, prompting yesterday’s piece

[Author’s note: Today’s message was supposed to be the actual story written and rejected from the Arts and Letters Awards, the one that spurred yesterday’s piece. And normally I don’t mind releasing work from years ago, even if I can

iansmitty September 25, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more
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