Lou shaves my head in his bathroom. At the end, he acts like he did a great job, but it’s too dark for me to tell.

I go out to the kitchen and catch my reflection in the mirror. It turns out only my moustache is gone. I’m half pissed.

I go back into the bathroom to confront him. I see myself in that mirror, and now my beard extends in such a way that a second section looks like just the hair of a short skeet’s head.¹ I’m mainly confused, but then I realize that if I angle myself just right in the mirror, I can be two completely different versions of myself having a chat. I improv a dialogue between real me and the skeet version after he knocks at my front door and I answer.

Smitty Too and Ashley overhear this and come into the bathroom to watch, but they don’t find it that funny, likely because for the first few lines I’m relying too much on how the skeet version says Tony, and also because I need to keep angling myself with the mirror so I continues to appear to myself as two distinct people.

Skeet Me (somehow wearing a jean jacket): Toe-kneee, give us a draw now.

Me (I guess I’m also Tony): Man, you’re not getting a draw. I told you you can’t come around anymore. You keep stealing shit.

Skeet Me: Tonyyyyy, c’mon now, we goes like we used to. You save me a draw and we’ll bang around town.

Me: I’m you don’t leave now, I’ll throw you off the porch with such velocity –

Skeet Me (interrupting): Velocity? Is that that show with Keri Russell? Loves that one.

Smitty Too (to himself): Oh! Felicity! That was a good one.

¹ [Dreamor’s note: This is what the mirror scene looked like according to a half-asleep me.]

Toe Knee
Tagged on:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *