A fiery Persian goddess, whose father is a sultan, is also the leader of a powerful gang world, and she basically ends up running the show wherever she goes. Lately she has been spending her time with different NBA players. They would all play better for her and change their names for her, to Naseeq, el Naqim, and other Muslim-sounding names. However, after a short time she inevitably breaks up with them, without much concern for their feelings, and they’re devastated.
A courtside announcer explains what happened to her most recent victim. A clip shows the highlights from a game where Kevin Garnett is playing incredibly, almost magically, in the last few minutes. Down by two, a teammate loses the ball, and Garnett chases it on a 67.5° angle from the net, and as he’s jumping out of bounds for it he palms the ball and launches it over his head perfectly. And this comes right after getting a pretty crazy dunk on the previous play. After the buzzer sounds and they win, he starts celebrating, but then looks up and sees the Jumbotron, where his girlfriend is making out with the opposing team’s coach. His face drops and he walks directly out of the stadium with an eerie calm. He dies that night under mysterious circumstances.