There is a growing problem in upstate New York, and it is affecting its most important wild animals. Over the last several years, the region’s bison population has surged at a rapid rate, more than doubling over the last decade, and local authorities are doing very little to manage their numbers. The creatures, usually known for their docility, are under increased competition for food and other resources, and they are allowing their survival instincts to dictate their actions. As the bison become more and more territorial, a definite hierarchy is being established, with each herd leader intimidating his subordinates to prove his dominance in the area. These males, in turn, have begun bullying the younger, weaker members of their group, in many cases withholding their share of the day’s kill and preventing them from resting. This new way of conducting themselves has thrown the entire ecosystem into disarray, and there are ongoing discussions among government and wildlife groups about loosening the hunting quota, in the hopes that population control methods would improve the culture of the forest and the lives of nearby residents. But unfortunately, until an effective system is established, Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
[Editor’s note: The author’s regular trivia group’s name for years, even with the persistent lamentations of his teammates, was Anus DiFranco.]