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weighty

October 17 – Norm Macdonald gets an anxious turtle named Dylan

October 17 – Norm Macdonald gets an anxious turtle named Dylan

The window grew smaller with each day, but still Dylan preferred his seat on the top of the couch, legs dangling over the edge, face facing the outside. He watched the other turtles play, and even though he told his

iansmitty October 17, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

October 7 – Thom Yorke gets anamnesis

October 7 – Thom Yorke gets anamnesis

We return to the location of a particularly memorable event-happening place, a death or a kiss or another feeling that outshines the other feelings in recent or unrecent memory. The location itself, in the three-dimensional structure we use to make

iansmitty October 7, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

October 6 – Amy Jo Johnson gets a drowning in a swimming pool and sum consequential possibilities

October 6 – Amy Jo Johnson gets a drowning in a swimming pool and sum consequential possibilities

It doesn’t manifest itself when I jump in the ocean, or a lake, or a river. It may actually be the artificiality of the swimming pool that conjures the experience. The precise dimensions my subconscious is subjected to give off

iansmitty October 6, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

October 5 – Neil deGrasse Tyson gets a snail’s demise and one of my own

October 5 – Neil deGrasse Tyson gets a snail’s demise and one of my own

Stepping inadvertently but directly onto the snail, I hear the crunch of her home under my feet. My view briefly becomes hers, as her consciousness defects from her shell and enters mine for the split moment on its path to

iansmitty October 5, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 15 – Ben Schwartz gets Exit Sign, part 3 of 3, of 5

September 15 – Ben Schwartz gets Exit Sign, part 3 of 3, of 5

I miss being able to walk into a smoky bar, where I could hide in a haze in a corner under a broken light. Now it’s all too sterile, like the neighbourhood around it. Familiar faces surround me. Random people

iansmitty September 15, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 14 – Sam Neill gets Exit Sign, part 2 of 3, of 5

September 14 – Sam Neill gets Exit Sign, part 2 of 3, of 5

I close the front door behind me and scan the other side of the street, either checking for acquaintances or to situate myself in the city. I glance up and see that the sky is upside down again. At least

iansmitty September 14, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 13 – Colin Trevorrow gets Exit Sign, part 1 of 3, of 5

September 13 – Colin Trevorrow gets Exit Sign, part 1 of 3, of 5

There’s always a way out. My eyes are drawn to the door, but they focus on everything else, looking for an excuse not to go home. If you give me one more chance to leave, I’ll probably take it, but

iansmitty September 13, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

September 2 – Lennox Lewis gets into an agnosticky situation

September 2 – Lennox Lewis gets into an agnosticky situation

At one point I was a proud atheist. I devoured Dawkins and nodded smugly in agreement, while hungrily absorbing Hitchens’s views and laughing along with Gervais at his most skeptical. I would regard with contempt those who turned to religion

iansmitty September 2, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 12 – Rami Malek gets a robotic understudy

May 12 – Rami Malek gets a robotic understudy

I’m the other kind of robot. Not the dutiful cog in the elaborated system, whose rigid movements are dictated by the unrepentant desire to acquire currency, to purchase assets, to attract a mate. With a better car than the neighbours,

iansmitty May 12, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

April 5 – Pharrell Williams gets happiness projected

April 5 – Pharrell Williams gets happiness projected

Whenever someone tells me of an accomplishment they accomplished, like winning a gold medal at some form of the Olympics, I say, “Okay, sure, but are you happy?” They usually think for a minute and eventually say no, in some

iansmitty April 5, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more
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