Strolling down Water Street, I pass a homemade kiosk containing a well-dressed proprietor and an attached sign declaring, in bright green letters, that the man inside will provide surreal yet sound financial advice for a single dollar. Before today I
Recognize applause. Welcome audience. Thank previous comedian. Refer to one of their jokes with a lighthearted dig. Mention city that I’m in. Profess that it’s great to be here. Convey that I know a distinct characteristic of the location, something
It’s not your fault I can’t get through you. I’ve been busy, okay, and I know you’ve heard all the excuses before, but mine are all true all the same. I enjoyed the 316 pages I did read, so much,
Pierre Gaudin was surprised to learn that his 2800 square foot property, which includes a two-car driveway and a shed that houses his skis and other seasonal equipment, had been declared an independent nationality over 31 years ago, after an
Birthdays bring with them intrinsically opposing outfits. The conical cardboard hat is popular, no doubt, but it’s nothing compared to the nothingness of nudity with a grin. Unfortunately, neither of those have I ever been comfortable wearing. Happy Birthday to
We return to the location of a particularly memorable event-happening place, a death or a kiss or another feeling that outshines the other feelings in recent or unrecent memory. The location itself, in the three-dimensional structure we use to make
It doesn’t manifest itself when I jump in the ocean, or a lake, or a river. It may actually be the artificiality of the swimming pool that conjures the experience. The precise dimensions my subconscious is subjected to give off
Stepping inadvertently but directly onto the snail, I hear the crunch of her home under my feet. My view briefly becomes hers, as her consciousness defects from her shell and enters mine for the split moment on its path to
As a man with a Porsche, I have a duty to those without. I represent for you the possibility of possibilities, and so I must maintain the appearance of happiness and importance, of someone you wish you were. It can
This, this is what I enjoy. The warning of your impending arrival. I have been through this before and I am ready for you. As you should know by now, I am not a woman with whom you can simply
