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(Who Left This Monkey-Freaking Suitcase on This) Monday to Friday (Plane?) — sponsored post Day 1: You’re walking to the bus stop, to take advantage of the always-on-time Translink service, on the way to your awesome job as a sales
I never thought the “officer” moniker would creep its way into my job title at any point in my life, especially since “moniker” isn’t the appropriate word to use here. And just to clear up any pre-emptive confusion, I am
EXT. BUSY HIGHWAY – SUNNY DAY A toad sits on a rock on the shoulder of the road with his eyes closed. He is smiling. Toad (meditating): Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo. Toad experiences an audio hallucination:
Meals are the most important food ingestions of the day. This is followed closely by snacks, and then accidental consumption of bugs and such. There’s a time and a place for each, as you damn well should know by now.
Avril Lavigne is visiting South Park, from Japan, where she’s from. She’s a big Canadian pop star, obviously, and she’s driving a transport truck, in the fog, with her big hands. Turning Japanese is barely audible, coming from the radio.
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At one point I was a proud atheist. I devoured Dawkins and nodded smugly in agreement, while hungrily absorbing Hitchens’s views and laughing along with Gervais at his most skeptical. I would regard with contempt those who turned to religion
I am Ian William Ennis Smith. I am a Smithsonian. Ian comes from the Scottish Gaelic for John, the first name of my maternal grandfather. Smith comes from the Proto-Germanic for a skilled worker. It is the last name of
I am 31. The day after being the subject in a lengthy, complicated resection, I experience the cryptic process of death, finalizing in me waking up in my old, partial body. I am forced to to navigate myself through several
