I open the door. Tuna races out and down the stoop, and I yell at her to return. She ignores me and rests in the middle of the road. The front right tire of a pale brown Volvo driven by
What’s the Fre-quent-cy, Carlin?
I’m in a school gym, after a scoreless game of basketball. Late Night Mal (stuffing a bunch of books into her backpack): “I’m going to New York soon.” Me: “When?” Mal: “Like an hour?” Me: “And you’re taking all those
The Salient Plause
An elderly woman gives me the most important advice of my life: “Plause equals plane.”
Family
Shona and I have to pretend we are in a travelling band, us and six others. The song we write goes like this: “We are a family about love. We are a family about love.” And it goes on with:
San Frandisco
While trying to move to San Francisco, I am trapped at the top of a really steep hill, considering the best way to get down to the base, to get home. A beautiful inviting city can be seen at the
Pathological Representative
Kelly and I are on a bus in California. She writes down everything she sees. Jody Richardson is employed as technical support for Songza, although he doesn’t want to get too involved in their business because of their public support
Skittle Skattle
Jess Otter had written in to the Scope complaining, “How could someone waste their time creating a Smurf scene out of candy?” Stacy and I discuss this and come to the conclusion that we are confused and saddened that she
To Be Determined
I write a Nick Thune-esque joke about getting a library card in every city I visit, which I find funny. A “Battle at Kruger” situation is happening, except the participants are a large number of disorganized, hungover people on a
Poetic Oyster
I am listening to the non-existent Kathleen Edwards song, “When I Was a Poet”. An unknown man interrupts her and wisely states, “As Mom always said, ‘you can’t reuse an oyster.’”
Paula and Flo
Two women are walking side by side, on the sidewalk next to the Newfoundland Power billboard on Gower Street, the one whose picture extends over the top with some joke about bills piling up. There’s a large line-up in the