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story

July 4 – Geraldo Rivera gets the Untitled School of America

July 4 – Geraldo Rivera gets the Untitled School of America

As a Canadian, rarely directly impacted by the goings-on of my southern neighbors, it occurred to me that the United States have always reminded me of an overcrowded junior high public school classroom, with each of the fifty states as

iansmitty July 4, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

June 4 – T.J. Miller assumes the identity of the T.J. Killer

June 4 – T.J. Miller assumes the identity of the T.J. Killer

Over the last several months, there’s been a rash of brutal murders in and around Tijuana, Mexico. American females in their twenties, who often cross the border from San Diego to party for the weekend, are the primary targets, although

iansmitty June 4, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 21 – Mr. T gets a plot summary of a movie never watched

May 21 – Mr. T gets a plot summary of a movie never watched

A new kid in town, probably Allan, keeps getting bounced around to different places because his dad is in the military. Allan never has enough time to make any real friends, and he’s shy anyway. His mom tells him they’ll

iansmitty May 21, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 14 – Amber Tamblyn gets some bedtime inspiration for her daughter’s world

May 14 – Amber Tamblyn gets some bedtime inspiration for her daughter’s world

I know you now have a baby daughter, which must be incredible and incomparable and insane, and I’m sure that Marlow will follow in your feet and end up having a net positive impact on the world, which isn’t easy

iansmitty May 14, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 11 – Kardinal Offishall gets a shifty historical solution

May 11 – Kardinal Offishall gets a shifty historical solution

Back in the day, there was this ludicrous and highly offensive fragment of racial discrimination in the America called the “brown paper bag test”. A regular standard brown paper bag, the same kind you make fake wasps nests out of,

iansmitty May 11, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 10 – Kenan Thompson gets an alternate elder care system

May 10 – Kenan Thompson gets an alternate elder care system

I just got back from visiting my grandmother at her alternative nursing home. The managers set these unnecessarily harsh rules that they make sure all of their residents are well aware of, but after speaking to one of the aides

iansmitty May 10, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 9 – Rosario Dawson gets a concerned friend’s plea to a parent

May 9 – Rosario Dawson gets a concerned friend’s plea to a parent

He was waiting to pick Curtis up outside the library. I spoke to Curtis briefly and told him not to go outside until I came in to get him. He would basically do whatever he was told, even if it

iansmitty May 9, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 8 – Enrique Iglesias gets his origin story

May 8 – Enrique Iglesias gets his origin story

Dick Church grew up in Botwood, Newfoundland, dreaming of one day making it in the big time. The Big Time. Surrounded by those content where they were, he always knew he had to get out, but he didn’t know how.

iansmitty May 8, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 7 – Traci Lords gets the 72 Nipponese microseasons

May 7 – Traci Lords gets the 72 Nipponese microseasons

After a long winter, the east wind melts the ice. I emerge from our hut to gaze at the mountains in front of me. I inhale the crisp air as I take it all in. Miyagase is lovely this time

iansmitty May 7, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more

May 6 – Meek Mill gets a penitentiary pal

May 6 – Meek Mill gets a penitentiary pal

I know you recently got released from prison, and while I can’t begin to understand what being in there is like, I’m very happy for you about getting out. You see, I have a vague memory of a regular back-and-forth

iansmitty May 6, 2018December 30, 2018 HappyBirthdays No Comments Read more
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