Larry David is on a dinner date with Marina and it’s going great. She goes to the bathroom. Her phone is on the table, and her alarm starts going off. Larry notices the alarm is called “Santa Maria”.
He assumes she’s quite religious and only went to the bathroom to pray because it was 3pm — which is when people pray to Santa Maria — so he thinks she’s crazy.
After the meal, she leads them to a toy store and he realizes it was in fact a reminder to pick up her niece Maria’s gift from Santa.
It’s a beautiful day. I’m tossing a ball with someone close to the river. It gets away from me and falls in the water.
Someone nearby — who was recently swimming and just taking a break to get a snack, still in their swimsuit — offers to retrieve it.
Me (thinking I’m making a great joke): “Well, if you’re driving!”