I wake up, disoriented entirely, entirely disoriented. I cannot see, I can’t move. An unfamiliar miasma impedes my awareness of self. Or maybe it’s the drugs. A collection of tubes protrudes from the conventional orifices as well as a few
December 8 – Nicki Minaj gets a pre-cancerous consideration
[Editor’s preambling note: All of this was written a couple of years before the author actually developed cancer, and I think before his mom did, so please don’t treat it as a plea for pity, or an accurate reflection of
November 7 – Chris Mortensen gets a tumour’s origin story
Hey, I found out I had the cancer in 2016 too! You definitely got way more media coverage than me, though. And to be fair, yours was probably scarier, even though mine might generated slightly more despair at a quick
August 31 – Chris Tucker gets noxious halluminations and biliary hallucinotions
I am 31. The day after being the subject in a lengthy, complicated resection, I experience the cryptic process of death, finalizing in me waking up in my old, partial body. I am forced to to navigate myself through several
August 30 – Lisa Ling gets a stand up meltdown
I am 30. I’m in Los Angeles, in the back of a comic book store, watching hopeful comedians say three minutes worth of material. My name is called and I walk onto the stage. I say this: Keep it going
August 29 – Carla Gugino gets an array of tests leading to a diagnosis
I am 29. I am coughing uncontrollably with a constant headache, full-frontal dizziness, and most disconcertingly, an unqualified absence of energy. Each step I take requires a much needed resting period, which is rather foolish. My attempt at a jog,
Hospital Shots! Part Deux (March 2016-February 2017)
[If you have not yet read Part Un, it’s over here.] I spend several weeks in the hospital, culminating in a scheduled major surgery being postponed minutes before the operation, as it is deemed too risky at the time. Discharged
PAIN (The Chronic 2017)
[Coming Soon! Weeeeeeeeeee!]
Protected: Infantalus Mentula
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March 12 – Ron Funches finds out I am a card-carrying citizen of the cancer community
I saw you perform on February 24, 2016. I remember the date not because of how funny you were – although I did get a few good guffaws in – but because it’s also the day I found out I