I am 30. I’m in Los Angeles, in the back of a comic book store, watching hopeful comedians say three minutes worth of material. My name is called and I walk onto the stage. I say this: Keep it going
August 30 – Lisa Ling gets a stand up meltdown
August 29 – Carla Gugino gets an array of tests leading to a diagnosis
I am 29. I am coughing uncontrollably with a constant headache, full-frontal dizziness, and most disconcertingly, an unqualified absence of energy. Each step I take requires a much needed resting period, which is rather foolish. My attempt at a jog,
August 28 – Shania Twain gets a product manager’s mid-morning break
I am 28. I’m on the 240 bus, headed to North Vancouver, the first half of my lengthy daily commute. Comedy Bang! Bang! is playing from my headphones while a woman unapologetically denigrates the strangers around her. I am the
August 27 – Sarah Chalke gets settled near the warmer ocean
I am 27. I’m in a mansion in Kelowna they call Crescendo. We’re all sitting around a large table eating Thanksgiving dinner. This is the first real chance to get to know a lot of new people who would end
August 26 – James Harden gets thoughts during a massage
I am 26. [4:00 on the clock.] Staring at the 00. Look at that. [Eyes close.] [Someone’s staring at me.] [Eyes open.] Yes, someone do be. I’m supposed to turn around. She keeps pointing at me to do it. I’m
August 25 – Blake Lively gets joblogged
I am 25. I’m in a grocery store, listening to Roy Dotrice read me Game of Thrones as I continuously fill and unfill a shopping cart. After neglecting to either earn an income or pay attention to my bank account
August 24 – Marlee Matlin gets late night malfeasance
I am 24. It is the third day of me being far better than everyone else at winner-plays-on Tetris. I’m on my living room bed alongside Callahan and Romesh, and also Michiel and Judith, two Belgian couchsurfers staying with me
August 23 – Kobe Bryant gets a solo adventure and a cousin switcheroo
I am 23. I leave town with very little notice or explanation to my apparent girlfriend. There’s a brief stopover in Toronto on my way to San Francisco, where Peter and I will start an adventure. I have a very
August 22 – Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje gets a dancing impersonation and an Iosian backtrack
I am 22. I am on a resort in the Dominican Republic, the first week of a summer long vacation that also includes Toronto and much of Western Europe, a trip booked by my friend Bosh for the two of
August 21 – Usain Bolt gets knocked out and gleeked at
I am 21. I’m playing chess with a guy I just met, the younger brother of someone my friend is dating. The clock shows 3:22am. I’m definitely drunk, but not in any one of the ways you aim for when