Joscelyn is a wonderful, weighty given name. But a lot of really strong names are no longer given to children, if they ever were. Where’s Genghis? We’re all descended from one. A few mothers should pay him some respect. Wolfgang has never been fully tarnished but is pushed to the outskirts, dismissed in favour of Cody and Brennan and All My Children characters of yestergeneration. Thomas Harris made us afraid of Hannibal, and Remington reeks of aristocracy. Tamadge Hagan, fighting over an X, the final nail in Malcolm, Gladwell not sufficient at carrying it along.

Even after Lee’s Mockingbird Murder follow-up, Harper remains in the past. The Kinks couldn’t bring back Lola, stars couldn’t push Nova up where it should be, and even Chris Murphy’s baby-making jams never led to many Sloane toddlers in recent years. Wyetta means ‘war strength’ and still the unnecessary overseas battles didn’t give “patriots” any ideas.

Back to you, though. Joss isn’t too shabby of a shortened form either, even if you’ve definitely had to correct people saying “Josh?” for years. And with the almighty Stoker and Stone as your sur and chosen last names, I’d say nobody compares 2U. Except maybe Sinéad. Or Prince. Or Genghis. Did we already cover Genghis? Let’s bring that one back.

April 11 – Joss Stone gets a list of names that need to be brought back into the fold
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